Lego

I'm feeling very thankful this evening for many things: friends, yarn, family, music, candy, wine, husbands, babies, and LEGO! Yes, Legos and blocks are really big now at our house, even if it is just Chris and I who are most interested in building with them, while Calvin is more interested in knocking stuff down.

I think at this point in time Lego reveals much about the personality of each person in our house. Obviously, Calvin is in Destructo-Baby phase, so he likes knocking things down. Chris, the engineer, spends his time building sensible, symmetrical structures, and the occasional Star Wars character.

Meanwhile, I myself am into creating zany, Suess-like buildings that would make no sense or have any real use in normal life. 

Then again, sometimes my Type A personality shines through and I just have to categorize everything by color. Just because. Although, they are still in interesting shapes instead of just stacks...

Anyway, enough about Legos. 

Calvin got a visit from his great grandparents today, and although he was initially tentative (he hasn't seen them in four months...and when you're 16 months old, that's a long time!), he warmed very quickly and was soon reaching for Nana and dancing with Grandpa. Too fun. So thankful my grandparents can be a part of my son's life! What a blessing is family. 

Little Baby

My sister just had her third baby this morning via C-section at a mere 33 weeks into her pregnancy. Little Davis Ryan Burge is only 4 lbs, but both baby and mama seem to be doing well.

It was pretty scary for me to think about my nephew being born so early...I thought about tubes and incubators and the NICU and him not being able to breast feed or see his mama right away after being born, and my heart just cracked a little. And all I could do from several states over was pray and check my phone obsessively until I went to bed.

Life is so precious and so fragile. But the God I serve is so big, so in control, so sovereign over everything that it is actually tough for me to worry these days. What a gift. I know it will be alright in the end. If it isn't alright, it isn't the end!

So I continue to pray for Davis and leave him and his mama right where they belong: in the hands of our heavenly Father.

Welcome to the world, little one. I know the outside is bright, cold and loud. But trust me, everything is going to be alright.

Slump.

Maybe this is the mid-month slump...or maybe I just had a nice, normal, unremarkable day? 

A great time of reading the Bible this morning...after an embarrassingly long hiatus from that practice. 

A wonderful time of visiting with a lovely friend...after an embarrassingly long time of not seeing her. 

A music teaching job interview/audition, a trip to the library for story time, continuing knitting a sweater for charity while watching TV episodes on my laptop after I put the baby to bed, and now catching up with my husband after he had a 12 hour day away from home. 

Then there's the blog...no profound words, no photos to prove anything. 

Slump...or maybe just life being lived? I dunno. 

Ode to Mama

This is my shout out to my mama-san on her birthday. She's such a beautiful lady, inside and out.
She had me fairly young, so we've spent our lives together...

...and we all knew the day would come when people would start mistaking us for sisters...

...even though she is old enough to be my baby's Yaya!

So blessed. I love you mama! It's been a great ride and here's hoping for many more years. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Thank you.

I want to say today that yes, I DO know that Veteran's Day means so much more than a giant 50% off  sale at Savers every year. This year, I just want to say thank you to those men and women who have fought and returned home, and to those still serving in our military.

The topic of veterans hits me anew this year, as I have been praying for Airman Bryce Powers, the son of a lady who used to attend Dwell Christian Church back when it was Willow Glen Baptist Church. Her son was in a very bad car wreck in Japan and is still in a semi-comatose state. I've been following her updates as she bares her heart in relation to her precious son, who is only 20 years old. I look at my own son with new eyes and hug him tighter every night.

It might be a cliche, but freedom isn't free. No matter what you think about the military, foreign wars, or any Presidential administration, it doesn't change the fact that there are individuals who put aside their own comfort and safety every day for the sake of millions of people they've never even met. That's more than I can say for myself, anyway!

So, thank you veterans! I'm so glad you made it home.

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like...

CHRISTMAS!! But maybe that isn't politically correct. Or maybe you just aren't ready for it yet.
But regardless...it's that time of year again. I know I can't be the only one who is already thinking of gifts and shopping deals and trying to get a head start on things.

I've already gotten gifts for my mom, mama-in-law, all the sisters (3), all their kids (4), and one of my grandmas. They are an amalgamation of homemade gifts, self-designed gifts, and store bought stuff. I really like to get most of my shopping done early so when December actually comes, I can focus on the season of Advent and the true meaning of the holy day we celebrate on the 25th. No cluttering my mind with shopping lists and horrible, death-defying mall trips!

There is something that I did want to share with any faithful, frugal readers I may have on this blog, and that is this: ArtsCow. You can thank me later. Or hate me forever because you'll never, ever stop ordering things. I'll even give you an amazing coupon code right now, ready? It's for 25% off site-wide and free shipping WORLDWIDE!! (They are based in Hong Kong, I think...) Just enter coupon code: 25OFFTHINGS. It expires 11/26, so hurry on in. They're not even paying me to say any of this...I just really like their stuff and it seems like there is just something for everyone!

Anyway, enough of the stuff-mongering. I'll be quiet about Christmas now until Thanksgiving is over, at least.

On a different note, my baby turned 16 months old today. *sniffle*

Yes, I Can!

So when I was nine months pregnant and publicly moaning and groaning about just being done already, I heard all these people talking about "savoring your last moments alone". A friend of mine even told me, "You'll never get to pee in peace again!" I thought she was exaggerating, I really did. ''

Then, I had a kid of my own. Now I know that the bathroom thing is all too true. Apparently I am not allowed to be out of my child's sight for more than three seconds at a time without him having a small panic attack in the form of loud cries and tears. To top it all off, our bathroom door in our apartment doesn't close properly, so I literally have to stick my foot out to block the door if I don't want small, uninvited guests to intrude on what really should be alone time!

I find myself saying, "You know what? Mommy is allowed to pee in peace! I am allowed to have two minutes to myself!"

Which makes me laugh when I hear myself defiantly declaring this to a 16 month old child.

But it got me thinking of what other concessions I make for myself to stay sane. I hope I'm not the only one who believes that Mommy is allowed to do some or all of the following on a fairly regular basis:

- eat an extra helping of dinner because I'm technically still breastfeeding!
- add spiced rum to my apple cider as "dessert"!
- have an extra cup of half-caf coffee in the middle of the afternoon to keep from falling asleep while playing with baby toys on the floor!
- take a shower at least every two days (okay, maybe make that three)!
- to forsake chores once in awhile and instead watch Netflix while my baby is napping!
- to eat all of his Halloween candy...he's too young for it anyway!
- put him to bed 15 minutes early because I'm just all done, and I can!
and yes, even to pee by myself. Or at least with the door closed while my baby screams on the other side.

Yes, I can!

And I can love my baby like crazy through all the madness of my day.

Yes. I can!

Something New.

Dwell Christian Church - Willow Glen location at Minnesota and Hicks

For those who may not have heard, I am starting a new "position", if you will, with my church. I am now the Worship Lead for Dwell Christian Church's Willow Glen location! I officially started in November...that is, now. This week will be my first week leading in this capacity on Sunday. 

I was very wary of taking this on for a few reasons. 

Firstly, I used to be very bossy and "leader-y" in my youth (yes, okay, my younger youth), but I've very much chilled out. I'm content to take a back seat and be used where I can be most helpful. I'm perfectly happy for someone else to take the reins and lead while I follow. In fact, I shy away from obvious leadership when possible.

Secondly, I feel very rusty and out of the loop when it comes to music. Yes, I have a degree in it. Yes, I studied pretty much nothing else at college. Sure, I can still read music and all that, but it is a language that I haven't spoken fluently in so long, I feel like I am a foreigner. I hate to lead something in which I feel not entirely comfortable. 

Thirdly, I am young. There are some older, wiser, and MUCH more talented musicians on the team than myself, and "bossing" them around just seems strange to me. Wrong, even. 

However, I am reminded of 1 Timothy 4:12, where the apostle Paul tells a young pastor Timothy, 

"Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity."

I know that our God is always using the weak ones, the ones who will have to rely on Him the most to actually get the job done. I feel like this really MUST be me. I feel so silly and awkward and weird sometimes. There is no way that I, of my own strength, could accomplish anything of worth in this capacity. But with God, all things are possible. 

It helps tremendously to have the support of both leaders in the church as well as a wonderful team of co-worshippers right by my side. I, quite literally, could not do it without them, either. You guys rock! 

Slow Down, You Move Too Fast

Now that my kiddo can walk, it is great to take little jaunts around the neighborhood. 

Only, as any dog-owner can tell you, walking with a curious small creature is no quick business. My little one delights in the smallest things that escape my attention as I am hurrying around downtown. 

So today I decided to try my best to take a walk at his pace. I learned that sometimes you gotta look above your sight line...

...Break some rules...

...Get down low...

...Get off the beaten path...

...Go digging...

But always listen when Mom calls you to come back inside!

The Golden Suggestion?

I saw this wonderful quote today - 
“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.” - Seneca
Beautiful and true. However, Seneca said it sort of as an idea or a suggestion. 

And it reminded me of this:
"'And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” - Jesus

You saw it...if you claim to follow and worship Jesus, these aren't suggestions. They are commands.

In all the political fervor, the partisan demonizing, the passionate arguing about very important issues, Christians, we need to remember this one. I will attempt to vote thusly, I will attempt to treat people thusly, and I will attempt to live thusly.

And thusly shall I end this blog post. ;)

Mommy Fail

I have a confession to make: I really want to be a cool mom.

I want to be a big giant hippie mom and feed my kid only the best things for him.
I want to be the laid back mom and allow my kid to get really messy and learn while he does it.
I want to be the fun mom who comes up with amazing activities for my kid to try.
I want to be the wise and loving mom whose children respect and adore her and come to her with every little dream or hurt.

Of course, being a real mom, I realize that not every moment of every day is going to allow me to be all of these things at once. Sometimes I have to be firm mom, disciplinarian mom, the "bad guy", and the one who has to let her child fail sometimes so he learns. Beyond that, sometimes there are just moments of utter lack and failure.

For instance, this morning I left my coffee lying around and the baby got his hands on it and started parading around, proudly slurping the cold, stale brew. Great.

After he slept off the coffee buzz, I tried to go to the Children's Discovery Museum this morning and walked a mile and half only to realize that they are closed on Mondays. So, we just went back home and took a nap. Um, not so fun.

Even the coolest, most fun thing I did in the day started out as a failure: making baby paint. Don't know if I mixed it wrong or if the temperatures or proportions weren't right, but I ended up with a chunky mess instead of a lovely homemade concoction.

But perhaps the cool thing is that I tried. And really, the baby took the idea and ran with it and ended up having a great time in the bath with the chunky goop.

 I was actually surprised by how restrained he seemed to be. But I think he appreciated the effort on my part. Even if my project didn't turn out quite as cute as this cool mom's.

God in a Box

Today Pastor Jason was talking about how we put God in a box, how we are constantly making Jesus too small. He reminded us of Colossians 1:15-20, and read it to us four or five times, just to make sure we got it. And in case you are a non-link-clicker (like me!), I'm going to quote a short part of it from The Message because I feel like this snippet in this version really gets to the heart of what blew my mind:

So spacious is he [Jesus], so roomy, that everything of God finds its proper place in him without crowding. Not only that, but all the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe—people and things, animals and atoms—get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of his death, his blood that poured down from the cross.

Duuuuuude. All the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe?!? That's a lot of pieces. And they all get fixed, all because of His death. Wow. 

So Jason reminded us, "You can never think of Jesus as bigger than He is." As big, as powerful, as all-knowing as I can imagine Him, He is more so, on into infinite.

I could spend my whole life trying to find adequate words to describe Him and to bring Him praise. So I think I need to stop building God boxes and get to it!

SAHM

Before I had a kid, if you asked me what the acronym in my title meant, I would have had no idea. (I also would have thought it was a really clunky-looking acronym!)

However, now that I have seen the front lines of the mommy wars (back to work vs stay at home! Breast vs bottle! Co-sleeping vs crib! On and on!!), I know that SAHM is short for "stay at home mom": the least glamorous and possibly least appreciated job in America.

I will not go on and on about this issue because I cannot say anything that hasn't already been said in much more famous forums. The whole point of my post is that I was away from my boy for many hours yesterday (9:00am-2:30pm, conference with Chris and then 3:15pm-6:45pm work at Ballet on last minute Gala stuff).

And as much as I had fun at these forays out into the world of adults, I wouldn't trade it for my time at home with my kid...being snotted on, changing diapers, negotiating crankiness and the whole nine yards. Not a chance. I've found my calling as a Christian, wife and mother, and everything else in this whole wide world can take a backseat.

In the words of the prophet Nehemiah (6:3) while he was rebuilding the wall in Jerusalem:

"I am doing a great work and I cannot come down."

Because no one else in the world is as cute or loves and appreciates me as much as my two guys!

Thank you, Lord, for I know just where I belong. 

Something More

Today Chris and I and quite a few of our Converge PacWest brethren had the enormous pleasure and privilege to hear Francis Chan speak to us about making disciples.

As the discipleship pastor and his wife, Chris and I in particular were really ready to hear and to take notes on what this amazing pastor had to say.

I don't know if we were quite ready, or if anyone really is ever ready, to hear what Pastor Chan actually did say.

Let me preface with a bit of honesty: I've been struggling from time to time with my calling in the church, what it means to be the wife of a pastor and to be a worship leader myself, struggling with quiet times with God (I have a toddler...very little of my time is quiet!) and in the Word. Sometimes I feel like I really "get it", the whole of the Christian life...and sometimes I feel like any regular ol' chick who is angry and cusses when she gets mad and doesn't truly love anyone and is just generally full of sin. I find myself even on my best days wondering if there is something about the Christian life that I am missing, knowing that there are a million things I could be doing better to the glory of God.

Now, I don't necessarily want to get all preachy on you, or try to rehash a whole two hours of teaching into one pithy blog post. But I did get my eyes opened (or re-opened, maybe) to a hint of what I am missing. DISCIPLESHIP (take a quick look at that link to get the encapsulated version of what Chan spoke to us about)! How can the wife of the discipleship pastor not truly understand what discipleship is or what it looks like? Good question, but I'm sure it has little to do with my husband's teaching ability and much more to do with my ignorance.

At any rate, I feel rejuvenated! I have been made to remember why we are doing any of this ministry/church-planting/pastoring/worshipping stuff in the first place. In the first place, because God is worthy to be praised and obeyed. In the second place, because he called us to go.

Matthew 28:18-20 - "And Jesus came and said to them, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.'"

(Un)Happy November!

I don't know why I think of sick days with such a nostalgic and glamorous glow...

I thought to myself, oh boy! It's raining! And I have a cuddly little baby with a bit of a temp and a bit of a cough, so we will stay in and drink hot drinks and watch Disney movies, which we have never done before! It sounds like a freakin' vacation!!

Well, reality of course is much less glamorous. My babe can't even sit through an episode of Sesame Street, so I don't know why I thought we would be watching Aladdin or something. I guess the fact that he doesn't like TV should please me a little more than it does at this very moment.

I'm currently listening to him howl as he resists a nap. Five minutes ago he pulled down his humidifier, breaking it irreparably and spilling a gallon or so of water all over a tight corner of our old Victorian apartment. All while in his crib...I really swear I moved that stupid humidifier out of his reach! It is my fault for buying the one that looks like an elephant. Far more tempting to play with than those beige affairs I should have purchased.

And when there is a gallon of water glugging over the floor, drenching toys and pillows and rugs and my pant hems in its wake, it is very difficult for me not to revert back to my sinful ways and start cussing up a storm and yelling at my curious toddler. I have to use my energy to channel all the lovely, calm and kind mothers I know, who would never lose their temper... (or at least in my imagination they wouldn't!) I inevitably have to apologize to my kid who, although he might not understand my frustrated words, certainly knows that they are directed at him. Lord help me.

*sigh*

Happy November?

Perhaps for the next week, whenever my boy does something naughty, I will envision this picture of him in my head...and then I cannot stay mad!

Halloween

Fittingly, the first blog of my challenge month (albeit one day early, but it is Halloween!!) is my 100th blog post. Hurray! I've had this blog for years and years...so 100 is really paltry...boo. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I just can't seem to force myself to post a blog when I don't have anything profoundly moving to say. So I guess I've had about 100 profoundly moving things to say (give or take) in the last five years or so. Hmmm...

Anyway. On to the good stuff.

Dwell Christian Church's annual Harvest Carnival!! The event of the season. Our little church is inundated with over 1000 adults and children in costumes coming through, winning candy, taking photos, munching popcorn, bouncing, pony-riding and generally having fun.

Two years ago at Harvest Carnival, I had just found out I was pregnant. I think I knew for like a day before I donned my sailor girl outfit and tried not to blurt out the news to everyone that I was five whole weeks along!

Last year at Harvest Carnival, it was a baby extravaganza, as apparently I wasn't the only one trying not to blurt out news at the previous years' carnival. 

Good times.

And then there is this year, where I return to my sailor girl costume (laziness) and my son yet again wears a tiger costume (gift from a friend). Having a toddler who can walk around and actually do stuff is really, really fun. 

There has been a lot of debate about whether or not we should even DO the Harvest Carnival every year. It costs a lot of money and takes a lot of planning and time. It is a great thing for our community and it really makes us feel like we are part of what is going on in Willow Glen. However, there's not a lot of Gospel involved and there's really rarely been a person who has come to our church later and announced, "I came here to find out more about Jesus because I really had fun at the Harvest Carnival!" Okay, make that most likely never has there been an instance like that. But is it all about conversions or is there something to be said for simply serving those around us? As you see, the arguments and reasonings go on and on. 

Halloween, in my opinion, is a part of our culture that can be redeemed and sanctified. I don't claim to have the answer. But I do think the Harvest Carnival is fun and it is a nice safe place for kids to play games and get candy! Candy that I am now about to eat...heh heh heh...

Challenge

For some reason I have had a hankering to get on here more.
Maybe we can blame Pinterest.
Maybe my narcissistic tendencies have reached fever pitch.
Maybe all the mommy blogs in the blogosphere have me jealous that they are recording their little ones' baby years and I have a few photos on FB and a paltry baby book filled with glue stick photos to show for mine.
After all, blogs are "web logs", right? A place to record things?
So if you're looking for something totally unique, a place where you will find the latest homeschooling lesson plans, the newest cleaning techniques you never heard of, the most awesome home decorating ideas...well,
this.ain't.it. 
Sorry.

But it is every internet person's right to clog the internet with more stuff. So I'm seizing that right, right now! I'm challenging myself for the next month to try to get a blog out every day. You don't have to read it. But it could be fun.

Here goes nothin'!

Oh, and here's a family photo, just to start us off.

On Resembling My Father

It's really cool to watch kids grow up and see what traits they inherit from their parents. I can readily name off which traits, physical and otherwise, I received from either of my parents: wavy hair from Mom, squinty eyes from Dad, loud laugh from Mom, sense of humor from Dad, figure from Mom, wide feet from Dad, brain from both sides, and on and on. To eventually look and sound like your parents is one of nature's great hilarities.

It is this way when you are a child of God, too. When I was adopted as a daughter, I immediately began to take on new traits, to become a little more like my Father. By His grace, this will continue in a positive trajectory until I see Him face to face at the end of this life. I want to look and sound more and more like a child of God every day. I want to have my Dad's love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

This morning, my baby all the sudden decided he didn't want to eat his banana. However, I know for a fact that he loves banana. I tried to verbally encourage him to eat it, but he was having none of it. Eventually, after breaking it off myself and gently hand-feeding it to him, he remembered, "Oh yes! I love banana! Banana is my favorite." I said to him, "See? Mommy knows you and knows what's good for you! You have to trust me because I know you best!"

There are so many times as a parent when I say things to my baby and I have to stop and smile, because I can just imagine God smiling and saying, "Hmmm, now where have I heard that before?"

As I watch my child grow up and delight in each little thing I can see that he inherited from me (taste in food) and from his father (facial expressions), I have to remember that it is much more important for him to begin to look and sound like his heavenly Father. Strange as it sounds, I care about that more than I care about him being smart, funny, well-fed or well-read.

Are YOU Mom Enough?

So, of course this Time magazine cover and article is riling everyone up. I've already been posting some responses to some visceral reactions on Facebook, but I figured out, Wait a minute...due to the magic of internet, I actually have my very own sparsely read forum on which to post my opinions!! Ha ha, welcome to the blogosphere. 


(So, basically this is a reprinting of some of my previously written comments, slightly expanded for blog form, complete with generated internet memes! Huzzah!!)


Everything about that article and that cover was made to rile people up. And it worked! The whole "Are you mom enough?" thing will piss a bunch of people off, as will the "provocative" photos of mothers breast feeding their kids. There is science being flung around all over the place, where "studies show" this and "well my mom did" that. 

There is no right answer, people. Motherhood is like art!!! Pay attention to your own painting/dance/drama/tragedy/song...and high five all the other moms who are doing their thing well.

I'm just really tired of moms attacking one another and acting like some know better than others. Okay, if I happen to see you doing jello shots off your child's tummy or dangling them out of windows, etc... I would probably call CPS. But if it isn't abusive, it's the parent's choices. It makes me sad how angry we get at one another. Work, stay home, breast feed til age 20 or formula straight outta the womb, sleep together, sleep apart, organic vs not...it's all up to the care-giver. We are all moms and we are all in this together!!! Now let's all join hands and sing Kumbaya!

Got it?! 

Now, it's Mother's Day on Sunday!! Y'all get along and stop hating on each other!

Bad.Mouth.

Recently read an article by Ashley Judd lambasting the media for what she labeled misogynistic comments about her "puffy face". Apparently media sources were quick to assume her puffy appearance was an indication of "work done" on her face, etc, etc...

The part that got me was when she called out women for participating in this misogyny, claiming that we are participating therefore in the patriarchic system that we claim to despise.

Aside from all the feminist rhetoric, I truly had to have a long think about the things I say about other women. I can hear myself denigrating their bodies, faces or outfits aloud, yet of course I would be offended if anyone felt they were free to make such comments to me or about me. I was struck by the pettiness and cattiness inherent in so much of media aimed at women.

Anyway, the real thing that hit me as I thought about all this was how my mother would always say, "Do you see that woman over there? Isn't she beautiful?" Most of the time, it would take me a moment to recognize what she meant, because most of the women she pointed out weren't glossy mag model material. They were usually ladies who dressed appropriately, took care in their appearance, and walked with grace and purpose. In this subtle way, my mother imparted to me a picture of where true beauty can be found. It never looked exactly the same twice; black women, white women, large and small, old and young would be pointed out and praised for their innate and natural beauty. (She also made a point of highlighting photos of movie stars with no makeup on, not to say how ugly they looked, but to show us how normal and everyday these women were without hours and hours of hair, makeup, and airbrushing.)

My challenge to myself is to continue this line of thinking and attempt to impart it to my son. The challenge is to throw off the pettiness and cattiness and choose to point out the good and beautiful in what I see. Thanks, mama, for setting such a good example. I was actually listening! And you remain one of the most beautiful people I have ever known, inside and out.

How I Save Money - Clothing

So here is another post about saving moola, being fabulously dressed on a dime.

I'm just telling you how I roll here, and maybe it won't be applicable in all situations, but perhaps you can be inspired!

Over-arching rule. I never, ever, EVER pay full price for clothing. Ever. No matter what. This is rule #1 and all other rules follow in it's footsteps!

1. When shopping for used clothing, check your attitude at the door.
I always hear people whining about used clothing stores, "They never have anything good. They smell. They're only for tiny/large people." I can debunk those one at a time (okay maybe not the smell one, but one must suffer for fashion in about a million senses, so why not an odd-smelling store?), but I won't bother. If you make up your mind to try, you will find something awesome at least some of the time. Maybe a thrift store isn't your thing no matter what I say. Maybe you should try consignment shops! More on those later.

2. Know your brands and know your size.
There is much time and frustration to be saved this way. For instance, I know that I am a size (nevermind, I'm not telling you the number) in either short, ankle, or petite, depending on what item of clothing I'm buying and from where. (There is a pretty cool app for iPhone called What's My Size? where you enter your measurements and it is supposed to tell you what size you wear in a whole bunch of brands based on their individual published sizing charts.) For another instance, I know that GAP jeans look good on me, but Old Navy skirts will always be unfathomably huge on my frame. I also know that American Eagle Outfitters makes good pants for petites. This sort of knowledge serves me well. I can spot a pair of GAP jeans in a full rack from across the store, almost! Go into a thrift or consignment store and simply shop brands you love! As a side note, this could serve you well if you wish to gamble and shop for used or vintage clothes online. It is again invaluable to know your sizes and measurements.

3. Sale days, coupons, free shipping, and clearance racks are all my dear, close friends.
You might argue, 'Sometimes clearance racks are full of horrible, stained, returned crap that no one in their right mind would buy!' Very true, but c'est la vie! Try again another day. Here's a tip about saving money while clothes shopping...you don't have to buy something just because you've "gone shopping"! Also, when shopping online, be careful of "FREE SHIPPING" in bold print and "with $100 purchase" very tiny trailing behind. Unless you were already planning on spending $100...this is not a deal! (I still get sucked into this one once in awhile...sigh)

4. Do a lap.
I walk around the store probably twice with my potential purchases in my hands. If I haven't changed my cheap little mind by convincing myself I don't need these items by the time the second lap is over, then its game on! I allow myself time to build up buyer's remorse but without the actual buying!

5. Just because it's on sale or clearance does not make it a good buy!
For one thing, any sale of less than 30% is stupid. The store marks up items by at least that much right off the bat, so you're really not "saving" anything, in my mind.

Secondly, and more importantly, you're not going to save money if you just buy a bunch of cheap crap that you don't love and then never wear. There is therefore an inverse to this rule...

Okay, confession time...
I have broken my over-arching rule a few times in my thrifty little life. Once was on a dress for a wedding, which I then proceeded to wear to many other weddings and events, including to my best friend's wedding as her maid of honor. In my opinion, that dress has paid for itself at least twice over. Maybe there is a coat or a bag or a pair of boots that transcend trendiness and pass into the realm of classic. Maybe you've found yourself in a department store by some odd twist of fate and there is no sale tag in sight. After following rule #4, I would say go for it. Because there's a difference between being thrifty and being just plain cheap: thriftiness understands the value of quality. If you're going to wear it and love it until it's threadbare and then you'll get it repaired and wear it and love it some more, then, well, you can't argue with love!

6. Pay it forward or sell it back.

There are a few places in my town that buy used clothing as well as sell it. Therefore, you can be doubly frugal by selling things you have no more use or love for, and using that money to buy discounted items again. The trick with these places is that the items you are trying to sell have to be in really good condition, and they still have to be in fashion. You can't just go buy a bunch of mom jeans from the Salvation Army and expect to upsell them back to a consignment place. These stores nearly always have a really good eye for quality, styling and trends, so you have to go with their flow in order to make any money. The upside of this is that the items in this store require less pawing through to find quality...you are more shopping for your style in a consignment store than attempting to find something without holes or pit stains, which can be the case in some yuckier thrift stores. You again save time and hassle this way.

So, there you go. If you're into numbers and proof, perhaps you'll take my advice as someone who walked out of my last shopping trip with four pairs of jeans (yes, 3 of them were GAP, ha!), a dress, a GAP jacket, a bangle, three pairs of shoes (flats, kitten heels and stilettos) and a book and sweater for my kid all for the low, low price of $55USD.

Deals are everywhere...you just have to hunt them down!

How do YOU save money on clothing or fashion?

How I Save Money - Groceries

[This will be the first in a series of blog posts that were inspired by my friend Samantha.]

I have much to learn, but I am a pretty thrifty little gal when you get right down to it, so I have been invited share some of my "secrets" to saving money. I will start in a very obvious place...the grocery store!

1. Choose a store with the lowest prices overall. Shopping around and driving all over town just mostly drives me crazy and takes a lot of time and energy for not much return. After shopping at Mi Pueblo, Safeway, Target and Trader Joe's, we've finally decided that Trader Joe's all on it's own, while not perfect, is the best store for us. No coupon clipping, mostly healthy stuff, low prices.

2. Caveat to rule #1 - if you have a collection of stores like a bakery, deli, and fruit and veg stand close together in your city or town, disregard rule #1 and shop specialty. Something happened to me during uni in Australia...I realized that I actually couldn't afford to shop at a grocery store...it was TOO EXPENSIVE! Totally crazy to think about now, but what could I do instead? On the way home from uni (walking...the bus was too expensive too...I'm serious), I would stop at the bakery, deli and fruit and veg stand and get all the things I needed for much cheaper.

3. This is a little bit neurotic, but I try never to spend over $3 on any one item. Try it sometime! (You'll always have a few items over, but try it anyway.)

4. Plan your meals. This is invaluable. I subscribe to one or more cooking magazines, but you don't need to pay for that, actually, since there are so many cooking websites out there. I plan three or four meals per week and then eat leftovers for lunches. I like to use Rachael Ray recipes (www.rachaelraymag.com) because they are usually simple and quick. Not the fanciest, but you do what works for you!

5. Speaking of cooking websites, www.allrecipes.com has become a new favorite. This is not only because of its extensive collection of recipes of all kinds, but because of a special feature they have where you can type in ingredients that you have on hand and search for recipes that way! The reason this is so awesome for me is that this is the way I can stretch the ingredients I have on hand to make quick weeknight dinners in the interim between shopping trips.

6. Again dove-tailing into the above is using similar ingredients in multiple recipes so that you don't have to buy such a wide variety of individualized ingredients. This doesn't have to be boring (chicken again??) unless you let it. It doesn't have to be the main ingredient that is similar...something I do often is using the same fresh herbs in multiple recipes. Buying fresh herbs can be pricey and I find that you never, ever use the whole thing that you buy in just the one recipe!! However, you can put fresh thyme on a zucchini pizza and fresh thyme in chicken and wine and not get bored.

7. This one may upset some people (my husband included), but a surefire way to save BIG money on groceries? Skip the meat. Sorry, carnivores. However, you can save a bit of money by doing one or two meatless meals a week and see how that goes. Maybe the savings will taste good enough to continue the practice!

8. Shop and eat in-season and local produce as much as possible. You'll save money and it's better for the environment, etc, etc... Though something in human nature may crave a juicy fresh mango in the middle of winter, you're really gonna pay for it. Try to resist.

9. Similarly, try to resist a lot of fun, colorful packaged and processed products. It is so, so expensive for what it is! It's like paying someone to increase your doctor bills. As an example, your kid doesn't need fruit roll-ups in their lunch box...in-season fruit will be much cheaper and healthier. Another example is microwave popcorn. That stuff is SUPER bad for you (weird chemicals in the bag, amazing amounts of sodium and fat), but not only that, you can buy a half pound bag of popcorn kernels for a quarter the price of a box of the "fake" stuff. So easy to make at home and takes pretty much the same amount of time!

10. Buy from bulk bins whenever possible. Flour, beans, oatmeal, nuts and much more can be bought for amazing prices when they are not pre-packaged for you. Bulk bins are not found just anywhere anymore, disappointingly, but if you can find a place that has this option, you're golden.

These are my top ten that I can think of off the top of my head.
Hopefully this is helpful! Think smart, get disciplined, develop good shopping habits. You'll be lining your pockets with extra cash in no time!

Any more tips? Leave me a comment!

Home Economics

Origin of the word "economy" - Middle French yconomie, from Medieval Latin oeconomia, from Greek oikonomia, from oikonomos household manager, from oikos house + nemein to manage- Merriam Webster Dictionary, m-w.com. (Special thanks to my friend Jordan Capps for partially inspiring this post)

So, I've been seeing these ads in magazines and on TV from Honda. They are advertising their vehicles with a new campaign that basically says, "I want to accomplish _________ before I have kids." (I guess a Honda would help me do these things? Not sure what the point is, but anyway...) Some things on the list in the advertisement are "take up archery, go mountain uni-cycling, march in a Mardi Gras parade" and it goes on from there.

This got me thinking about the fact that I now have a kid. I am now "chained down" and can't go anywhere or do anything because of said shackles. Not to mention the ol' ball and chain I'm married to. All that's left for me is to practice my little home economics experiments and wait to be an empty-nester so I can get my freedom back. (I'm being facetious, of course.)

On the subject of "home economics", recently I was reminded of an alternate meaning of the word "economy".
I think this definition describes it:
"Theology.
a. the divine plan for humanity, from creation through redemption to final beatitude.
b. the method of divine administration, as at a particular time or for a particular race."

And funnily enough right after that one: "Obsolete . the management of household affairs." (www.dictionary.com)

Where am I going with all this? I'm a bit fuzzy on it myself, but it has something to do with a bigger picture, a bigger plan, the sovereignty of God, and the home. It has to do with God's plan for me as a wife and mother. It has to do with my husband's and my plan, our ECONOMY, for our household and our child and future children.

I hope I can say this without sounding snotty, sanctimonious or self-righteous, but here goes:
It has become plain to me, in my life, that all these "things" I want/wanted to accomplish before marriage and kids are nothing. They are selfish, a chasing after the wind. What's important in this world? People. Love. And which people has God given me to love first and foremost if not my husband and my child?

I am not ashamed to be a housewife, an "obsolete" manager of household affairs. When you think about it, this is a big deal. I'm raising up small people who will one day be big people with ambitions and plans of their own. I've concluded that guiding their little minds is more important than all the Mardi Gras parades or all those mountains that will be untouched by my unicycle. I'm so glad I didn't wait forever trying to accomplish silly things before investing myself in something much bigger than myself and my own desires.

For Unto Us a Child is Born

Having a kid at Christmas is great. He will never remember his first Christmas, but I'm still just a little bit excited to see presents from family accumulating under the tree. Presents that I or his dad will open for him, of course. So really, baby's first Christmas is much more about his parents' joy and delight than our child's.

But as the gifts under the tree stack up higher, I am brought again to a subject that I've thought a lot about, as a Christian and now as a parent: What will our family Christmases look like in the future, as (god-willing) more children are added to the brood? Will we tell our children that a fat man in a red suit delivers gifts to them and all other children on Christmas? Will we limit our Christmas celebration to a few gifts under the tree? What about Advent? What about baby Jesus? What about needy kids?

So many things to ponder. I think my hubs and I agree that our kids will not "believe in Santa", in the traditional sense. We like the idea of St. Nicholas, and telling our children about this friendly saint who is the patron of children and gave gold coins to the poor. This, in turn, can be a springboard for shifting our kids' focus from themselves to others at Christmas and always.


On this subject, my husband and I have yet to talk at length, but I think we are already setting a precedent by not buying our baby any gifts for Christmas this year. Well, technically we bought him a doorway jumper way back in October and said, "It can be for Christmas". That was 40 bucks and we haven't spent any more on the little guy. When family wants to shower him with gifts, especially on his first Christmas, I will not object or do anything rash like give all the gifts away to needy kids. But I do think that we will end up perhaps getting one gift for each child in the future and then try and focus on ways to serve needy families in the holiday season.



Of course, as a pastor's family, we will also introduce the birth of Christ as the focal point of the holiday of Christmas, and build into our traditions this important precept. I love the idea of celebrating Advent, or the season leading up to the actual holiday. To me, it imbues the whole month of December with a sense of awe and anticipation to celebrate God becoming a little baby, being born in a manger to a regular Jewish family to be raised among men. (Read a version of the Christmas story here!)

Christmas is truly one of the most wonderful times of the year, and I think as our economy continues to be unstable, people are truly realizing how gross the excesses of holidays past have been. There is a photo circulating on Facebook that juxtaposes shoppers, arms filled with "stuff", with a photo of hungry African children, holding out their hands for a scrap of food. The caption reads, "Define Need". Thought-provoking, humbling, and hopefully brings me to true repentance of materialism and greed all year round.

In the end, for the Christian, this holiday is about our God being born among us as a little child, shedding the glory of His heavenly presence to incarnate in human form. It is mind-boggling, and deserves the sense of awe that many children feel when ogling a tree-full of presents on December 25. For without His birth, there could never be His death.

Without His death, we could never truly have life.

Merry Christmas!

A Glorious Inconvenience

Hubby and I have got a very new, very large inconvenience happening in our life these days.

He moved into our room a little over two weeks ago. He screams sometimes until he gets his way. He's super-needy. He demands to be fed about every three hours, including in the middle of the night. I have to wipe his eyes, nose and butt for him.

His name is Calvin James, and he has shifted my whole world and given me a new normal.



I love him more than almost anything!

While it is true that children are an extreme "inconvenience", what with all their neediness and mess, they are what Mark Driscoll calls "a glorious inconvenience". I understand this now. And like many things about the parent/child relationship, I can see a very large insight into the God/child relationship that I wasn't fully aware of until we produced a squalling little inconvenience of our own.

It's hard to believe, but God loves me with the same tender love that I direct to Calvin...but perfect. So he doesn't get mad when I drop my pacifier while I'm screaming or eat my hands instead of the food that is being offered. He doesn't get surprised or frustrated when I make a giant mess of things. He isn't really annoyed if I decide I need Him in the middle of the night. I've only known Calvin for three weeks, and I love him more than I thought I would. God has known me since the beginning of time (for lack of a better term, because He had no beginning!) and loves me immeasurably more than I can fathom!


These new insights are mere glimpses and shadows of a greater truth. I'm so thankful for my little inconvenience, even as he screams and I try to type with one hand! I can't wait for all the wonderful surprises that are in store for me as I continue the journey of motherhood!

Commencing Countdown

As I'm looking at my little pregnancy app this morning and it is telling me that I have 2 weeks and 5 days until my due date, the reality of motherhood is slowly beginning to dawn on me. For the past few days I've kept telling my baby to hurry up, only to mentally check myself and think...these are my last days of "freedom". I should really be living in the moment, enjoying these last little kicks and jabs and time to nap, clean and take a shower whenever I want!

I have had a really blessed pregnancy, and I'm hoping this carries over into labor and delivery, but once this baby begins his descent, well...I realize all bets are off.

And so, with one more shortened week of work ahead of me, I then face some time to just wait. The reality is that Calvin could really enjoy being in the womb and decide to stay there for another month before the docs would do anything to help him along. A MONTH! I could be waiting around for what feels like forever!

So, what should I do with my free time after next week? I live in a small apartment, so there's only so much cleaning to be done (although the place needs it!). I'm sure there will be some lazy movie-watching and napping going on. But what else? What should I do to fill my days? Any moms, I would appreciate your thoughts or experiences. Or, anyone else who is a professional at filling time with amusing things...anyone retired and want to tell me what you do to fill days? I'd like to not waste them!

19 days and counting...

Important Questions

My pastor wrote this blog and it is a beautiful, well thought out, and biblical answer to the question posed by a six-year old in church this past week, "What happens to a one-year-old who dies?"

Read and be blessed.

Operating Instructions

I just finished reading Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year by Anne Lamott this morning. Fabulous book, and it got me thinking...

In it, the author is determined (in a funny way, not too much a scary way) to instill in her son from infancy the political ideals that she holds to. She whispers her liberal rhetoric in his ears as he sleeps and nurses. She thinks she will turn him into a brilliant opposition leader someday.

In a similar way, having a kid reminds of the feeling I would get every time I moved schools when I was a kid (which was a LOT): I could start over completely and be whomever I wanted to be! I could re-invent myself as something different than I was before! Of course, this never really worked out for me. I was always the nerdy, funny, slightly off-kilter redhead, no matter where I went. But the feeling was there...this infinite power in my grasp to remold myself and change my destiny. There is a little piece of me that feels that sense of power when I think about Calvin and how I can mold him into who I want him to be.

Then again, I've seen enough to realize that this won't necessarily work out for me, either. Just because I want Calvin to have his dad's smarts and my sense of humor, and to inherit easy-going ways from both his parents, well...that's not necessarily how this all works! I get that.

But I also know that there are some things that I wish Calvin to know and grasp right out of the hopper. For instance, I want him to know his Creator. I want him to know that life is not about rules and regulations, but about loving God and loving people in ways both tangible and intangible. I want him to have great faith and great humor in equal quantities so that he can deal with devastating blows as they come, because I know they will. I want him to really know these things in a way that effects the way he thinks and makes decisions and lives his entire life.

How this all shakes out, of course, remains to be seen. Perhaps I should be praying for that great faith and great humor in equal quantities as I raise my son. I think I'm going to need them!

Just In Time

Hubs and I have got about 13 weeks, give or take, until we are officially parents of an official out-in-the-world baby. The thought takes my breathe away (maybe half from awe and half from hyperventilation)!

Because our little bebe has pretty developed hearing these days, I've decided to read out loud to him in the mornings from this great little book called The Jesus Story Book Bible. This is the mother of all children's bibles and every time I read a story from it, I cry and remember all the wonderful things God has done. It is perfect in its simplicity, and profound in its childlike wording.

The other day I read the story of Abraham and Isaac. For those of you not familiar, you might not see why I was dreading reading this story, so I will recap. Abraham is chosen by God to be the father of the nation of Israel, God's special covenant people. He promises to make Abraham's line great in number and in standing. To this end, God grants Abraham and his wife Sarah little boy, even though they are both in their 90s! Then God asks Abraham the unthinkable...to sacrifice his son Isaac on an altar. In the end, Abraham's willingness was enough and God spared Isaac and gave the pair a ram to sacrifice instead as an offering to Him.

As you might imagine, reading about sacrificing one's only son is a little traumatizing for a pregnant lady. But the part that struck me in the story was that God provided an alternative sacrifice "just in time".

Sometimes I feel like God is doing everything "just in time", keeping everyone biting their fingernails on the edge of their seats seeing if He will come through. But the older I get, I realize that God does all things in HIS time, and that it is perfect. It isn't sliding into home plate just before the ball hits, or getting back to your car just as the cop takes out his pen for your ticket. It's PERFECT timing, considering all possible iterations in the universe (He is God, after all).

That just made me feel a lot better about becoming a parent, for some reason. I didn't get pregnant by accident...God gave me a baby and He gave my baby ME as a mom. I have a wonderful Father who has provided me and will continue provide me with everything that I need, just in time.