The Sound of One Hand Typing

OK, so hopefully no one is surprised that it has been a month since I've had the wherewithal to sit down and type coherent sentences? I've got a 3.5 year old who is transitioning (very roughly) out of a regular nap and a newborn who seems permattached (totally a word) to my chest. I will not comment as to if he is there right now or if that has anything to do with the title of this post, because that would be TMI, right??

Ahem, moving on.

I had written down on a scrap of paper somewhere a few things I wanted to write about and report on...great Pinterest ideas that I tried and that worked, products that are proving so useful with this new baby, things like that. Who wants to guess where that scrap of paper is? No really, any guesses would be helpful, because I have no idea.

A couple of things I CAN report on:

Project: Decluttering!

Perhaps all well-intentioned mothers start their year off with a huge commitment to de-cluttering their lives and homes. And perhaps in light of the lost scrap of paper mentioned above, this seems comical where I am concerned. But I really, truly have been going systematically through my whole house and gathering up stuff that I know we can live without: books I will never read but just liked having on my shelves (guilty), stacks and stacks of paper in the filing cabinet that were completely useless and outdated (tax stuff from 2003...back when my husband was single and made engineer-type money...no one wants to see that now!), magazines, crappy plastic toys...all recycled or given away. I have made many trips to Savers to donate to Hope Services... getting a great start to some tax deductions for 2015.

I was gleaning this idea from multiple sources: Pinterest, the Buy Nothing movement (not a chance that I will buy nothing, but certainly living with less!), and Kathi Lipp's challenge for living clutter-free. I knew nothing would work for me except something I created for myself at this stage of life, so I made a list of 30 spaces in my house that need to be de-cluttered and I set about using the month of January for the job. I won't feasibly get it all done in January because I've been taking weekends off, but I have done maybe half my house, and big spaces of it, too. The list is on my desk, staring me in the face, so hopefully I will stick with it until I'm done!

Reading: All Joy and No Fun

In my (snort) spare time, I am reading a fascinating book called All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox o of Modern Parenting by Jennifer Senior. You can go to the Amazon link to read an actual synopsis, but all I can say is that while I've been trying to read fewer secular parenting books (so many styles, so much advice!), I'm glad I made an exception for this one. It helps me step back from the day-to-day of parenting and how overwhelming it can be, and look at it from a cultural and sociological lens. Somehow viewing it in a macro sense helps me deal with the minutia, especially as I have been off work and home with the kiddos a lot more often. So far, I highly recommend it!

Also checking out Baby Led Weaning, which we will be doing with our new little one when the time comes. I realize this will only be in a couple months. Excited for no more purees!

Trip: Converge PacWest Pastor's and Wives Retreat, Pismo Beach (and surrounds), CA

I won't bore you with details but we did get a chance to have a little break, leave the big boy with my grandparents and go with the baby to a retreat with a bunch of fellow pastor's and their wives down on the beautiful central coast!
Here's the view from our room.

A photo posted by @dreamweaver2040 on Jan 13, 2015 at 5:15pm PST

That is all. =)

Coming Up: Back to Work

Soon and very soon, I will be heading back to work, baby in tow. The logistics of this and having the big boy go to school for more days when it is already a battle to get him to go two days a week...and then having a baby with me while I try to work? Yikes, I must be crazy.

But the thought of staying home all day instead of getting paid for three or four hours of work a day doesn't really appeal to me either, so I guess I will have to try! I don't hate being a stay-at-home-mom, but I suffer from a little bit of anxiety which can turn into a little bit of agoraphobia if I am cooped up too long. I start to freak out that I can't leave my house because...I don't know, schedules will be messed up, the world will end? As much as I can think rationally about it now, in the throes of the everyday it rears its ugly head and I think my boys would suffer from becoming little baby recluses. Therefore, I will try this work thing. I'm so grateful that my workplace is so small and accommodating, and that I have an office with a door I can close to nurse or whatever.

So that's me. A crazy de-cluttering, reading, working mama. 

Wouldn't trade a thing. 

Survivor: Newborn Edition

Tomorrow my little baby turns 7 weeks. Seven weeks since his harrowing arrival and the start of our new normal.

We've survived these weeks, sometimes by the skin of our teeth.

We've had a visit from grandma that didn't go quite as expected, the loss of a very dear friend, and our first "Wonder Week".

Lemme 'splain:

We Lose Moriah

On Monday December 1st, the world at large and certainly our church family and dear friends the Nelsons lost their daughter Moriah due to several complications of an infection in her heart. This little girl was special not only to her family (of course!) but to her church family and to a wider sphere of folks who had been personally touched by her life and joy and infectious smile, whether in person or through their family blog - Moments with Moriah.

There are a thousand eloquent ways I could eulogize Moriah, but shock, grief and sleep deprivation combine to render me simply heart-sick and not eloquent at all. I share a mother's horror with my friend Victoria at losing a child, empathy with her son Jadon who is only 10 days older than my own son, and simply sadness at the loss of a beautiful little friend.

Pastor's kids and Nelson kids

We will miss you, Moriah. I had a dream the other night that this beautiful seven year old with a dark curly mop of hair walked up to me and started to talk to me. I knew it was you in your heavenly form and even in my dream I burst into happy tears. Until we meet again, dear girl!

My first time holding our friend Moriah. xoxo

Our family was very grief-stricken and also stressed as my husband attempted to plan a fitting memorial for Moriah, we lost much sleep with newborn Archer, and my mother-in-law came to visit, all at the same time.

Grandma Judy Comes to Visit

In my heart-sickness, I could not summon the courage to try and explain to my three year old what had happened and why everyone was so sad. This is a mistake I keep making. My son is quite sensitive and can tell when something is wrong. So when we don't tell him what it is, he concludes that it could be ANYTHING or EVERYTHING and acts out accordingly. My poor mother-in-law got to see his very worst behavior as he attempted to find his way through the week with a new little brother, a mysterious event, and a strange visitor all vied for his parent's attention. 

Eventually, they had some bonding time, making sugar cookies and sewing a Christmas stocking for the baby.

She's an amazing, loving and creative grandma and I'm glad there were some good moments in amidst the chaos before she had to go back home to Colorado.

We Enter the Wonder Week

After grandma left we went to visit the Nelson family and sweet Victoria, in the midst of her grief, was asking me about life with Archer. She asked how often I was feeding him, inquiring, "Every hour? Hour and a half?" 

I, appalled, shook my head and said, "Oh no, every three hours and even longer sometimes in the night!" 

I should have covered my infant's ears or found some wood on which to knock, because it seems at that very moment, Archer embarked upon his first Wonder Week!

If you don't know about Wonder Weeks, and you have a baby of a year or less, drop whatever you are doing (presumably reading this blog), and click on the link above. Insight into the mental and developmental leaps your child makes in their first year will help you become significantly less bewildered the next time your sweet kiddo turns into a screamy, whiny mess for a whole week or two for seemingly no reason.

So, after a week of non-stop feeding, fussing or sleeping anytime but nighttime, we now have a new and improved Archer. He is beginning to smile and be much more alert for longer periods between little baby snoozes. He definitely looks bigger, too, as we moved him into his 0-3 month clothes from the newborn stuff.

We survived and even found time to have a little fun. I'll leave you with our first series of mama/baby happy snaps and an idea for spiced cider made with essential oils, courtesy of doTERRA!

Technically NOT a selfie, as there is another person in the shot. Right?

Essential Oil Spiced Cider

Single serving: 

8oz high quality apple juice, warmed

2 drops doTERRA Cassia oil

1 drop doTERRA Clove oil

*You might even get crazy and add a little Wild Orange but be careful with the oils, respecting that they have a strong flavor, as well as therapeutic benefit, and shouldn't be ingested without proper consideration. 

May that warm, sweet treat get you through any wonder week you may be experiencing. Until next time!

The New Normal?

Well, I've got a lot to say but not much time to say it in, since I have a sleeping sickie 3 year old and a ready-to-wake-up-and-eat newborn waiting in the wings. Not to mention packing for my new family of four for a trip out to the mountains for Thanksgiving. (Talk about intimidation, but I'll get to that in a second!)

Family Transitions

My delightful custom designed birth announcement, courtesy of PIY Invites 

Nobody ever told me that the hardest part of transitioning from a family of three to a family of four might not be the newborn or the sleepless nights or even wrangling two kids into the car to go anywhere... In our case, it is my dear, sweet, emotional three year old that is having a bit of a time adjusting. He loves the baby and is sweet with him and kisses him and asks questions about everything. But you can tell that he feels precarious a lot of the time and needs extra love.

I knew it was normal and tried to head it off with all kinds of big brother talk, "enough love for everyone" talk, extra hugs and snuggles and one on one time and verbal affirmations and the whole enchilada. But my big boy is a sensitive creature who is easily thrown off and takes awhile to get back on track. So I feel that much of the first three weeks of the baby's life have been putting out fires with the big one. The baby pretty much sleeps, poops and eats just like he's supposed to, so that's been fairly easy!

At least someone in this house is calm...

Then Illness Strikes...
I feel like a lot of this year from spring on has been dealing with illness of some kind or another. I call it the "preschool tax", since my son started preschool this year and obviously then started getting sick a lot more often!

Last night was a special brand because I came home to the 3 yo screaming in pain because his ear hurt, working himself up into a snotting, coughing, panicking mess. My husband in desperation used Children's Tylenol, which I am always secretly disappointed to have to resort to, since I'm such a hippie mama with my essential oils and such.

But last night the Tylenol was administered in my absence and there was still screaming and panicking going on. So I grabbed my oils and got to work. Oregano for the ear ache (I put one drop in my hand and smeared it behind his ears since he wouldn't let me stick a cotton ball in his ear). Eucalyptus for the cough and snot (diluted in coconut oil and smeared on back and chest and neck). A bath in the middle of the night with three drops of a Calming Blend (Serenity) for the panicking. After much panicking and many tears, we all finally slept in some fashion or another.

This morning we woke up and he says his ear doesn't hurt. At all. We went from screaming pain and panic to nothing. Praise Jesus! Still some coughing and a little snot. Fever developed sometime in the night which probably helped to kill whatever was causing the earache. So I let the fever go for a bit but then decided to do a drop each of Peppermint and Lavender in coconut oil for the fever. He fell promptly to sleep on the couch and is currently sleeping off whatever remains of this illness, hopefully just in time to celebrate Thanksgiving. Yay for oils!

Poor buddy. 

Packing for Thanksgiving
So in the midst of all this chaos, I started to get really intimidated about packing for our three night stay up in Amador County for Thanksgiving. Newborns require a lot of stuff. So do three-year-olds. And then there's the grown ups! I started to think up brilliant ways to procrastinate until I remembered this wondrous little app that I discovered a few months back called PackPoint. 

As advertised, it practically packs your bags for you: it dials in your location (for weather), number of nights staying, whether you have a baby or kids, what activities you might be doing (hiking? fancy dinner? beach?) and pumps out a rather intuitive packing list for you! It's AMAZING. They're not even paying me to say that.

So I'm going to go and do my packing now that I've got the list done for me and still two kids sleeping! =) Looking forward to many beautiful vineyard vistas like this one:

HAPPY THANKSGIVING and GOOD HEALTH to all!

An Imperfect 10

My little buddy is 10 days old today!

His onesie describes the kind of night he gave us/me last night...eating every hour or two and grunting and kvetching in between:

Gobble gobble gobble - need it to chub you up, baby!

Gobble, gobble, gobble, indeed! Mommy is rather exhausted, but that's par for the course with a newborn. Then the big boy had a bad dream in there somewhere and you can now imagine the coffee fantasies that I will be fulfilling for myself today!

Life with two kiddos is so far fairly chill, since one of them sleeps most of the day. I'm trying to enjoy the relative downtime because I know, as one friend eloquently put it, "it's about to get loud!"

So I'm spending my time cleaning the house (which was in dire need!), doing laundry, playing games with my big boy, trying to remember where I was in my knitting chart, staring at the sleeping newborn, and generally NOT following the wisdom of sleeping when he sleeps. I'd be sleeping like 20 hours a day! 

I don't know why I can't turn off and wind down in order to nap like I did when I was pregnant. I only do it when the whole family takes a nap together in our bed (well, Little A is in the co-sleeper, but close enough!), which are glorious times of joy and relaxation. I get all grateful and teary laying there amongst my guys.

I was crazy enough to think to myself yesterday, "Gee, I feel like I could almost just go back to work! Bring the baby in my office since he never cries anyway and get some work done!" Don't think the lovely gal temporarily taking over for me would appreciate having her job for barely a week or two, for one. And for two...I'm obviously crazy, and the baby reminded me last night what having a newborn is all about: HIM. 

Getting to know him, getting to know all about him...and feeding and feeding and feeding him! Introducing him to music worth listening to (Elton John's Honky Chateau, Ray LaMontagne...real autumnal stuff for the season!), exposing him to sunlight to help him figure out the difference between day and night, snuggling him so he knows he's loved and who his mama is. =)

So it has been an imperfect 10 days since that fateful morning of delivery. But imperfect in the best way...the messy, beautiful, agony and ecstasy kind of way that defines any life worth living. I have been grateful for the reminder.

Mommy Panel at Caterpillar Years

I've been a bit absent...turns out incubating a human and trying to raise a 3 year old and working part-time is pretty time-consuming! Who knew?

(33 weeks! Eek!)

I am excited today because I got to be a part of a Mommy Panel for my friend Heather over at The Caterpillar Years. Her blog is awesome and adorable at all times and I'm so proud and excited to have been involved in it in any small way!

Check it out here: http://www.thecaterpillaryears.com/2014/10/mommy-panel-monday/

This panel is about newborns and new moms and what you would tell yourself if you could do it over again (which I'm about to do, really!) 

Enjoy!

A Thousand Moments

How did you feel the moment you became a parent?

I guess you'd have to define when that moment was...

THIS?

OR THIS?

Finding out I was pregnant was fantastic because I just knew...I.just.knew. And Daddy was nervous and kept telling me to wait to take the test. As if that would change the result somehow? Ha ha, I think he just didn't want me to be disappointed because I seemed so sure. But honestly, I didn't start feeling like a parent right away after becoming pregnant.



So I guess I'll go with the latter photo. Yes, it was taken mere seconds after you were born. I won't get into too many gory details (yikes) but I will say that 26 hours of labor and 5 hours of pushing and a pair of forceps later...you were finally in my arms!!

I was drugged (after all that, no shame in drugs!) and exhausted and a little traumatized, as were you. I was in awe of the fact that you were real. I just kept looking at your poor swollen little red face and thinking, "He looks exactly like my grandpa!"

Ha! Being a newborn is no picnic. 

But because you bore such a strong family resemblance right away, I knew you were mine. You slotted right into the family.

I don't know if words can adequately describe how I felt about you. It took a few hours/days for the shock and drugs to recede (it was quite a difficult birth, my sizable-noggined one!). But I knew I was in love. I knew I didn't want to put you down. I felt like I was living in a dream for those first few days when you slept so nicely. Of course, very soon you were hungry all the time and waking up to the fact that you weren't in the womb anymore and then the real fun began. 

But those first moments are priceless. A thousand tiny moments make up the whole of how I fell in love those first few hours and days. And I just remember being so amazed with how my life could go from

THIS

TO THIS!!!

And all in a matter of a few (ha!) hours of labor.

And also being in awe of how I would do it all again in a heartbeat to get another sweet baby to love.