Hands Off My Toddler

I've been thinking lately about how much fun Calvin's toddlerhood has been (at least for me!) compared to babyhood. Don't get me wrong, I had the cutest, smiliest little chubby baby I could ask for, and I loved nursing him and rocking him and all those other baby things.

But now that he can run around and amuse himself and understand humor and talk a little bit, I'm really starting to feel like the mother of a "kid" instead of a baby. And I've taken what I hope are the appropriate steps backward from the type of mothering that a baby needs as opposed to a toddler.

I've heard that this is kind of a new wave of parenting style, which I'm sure has a pithy name like "Hands Off Parenting" or something. But basically what it means for Calvin and I is that I leave him alone now more often to explore the backyard while I do dishes or work on my laptop in the kitchen (for instance). I'm not checking on him every three seconds like when he was 9 months old and starting to crawl. He can entertain himself for bigger chunks of time. I've even made him a fun backpack so that HE can carry around his diapers and wipes for a change, and I can just carry a regular-sized purse around!

The best part about this is that I can take him more places with me and feel like we are both actually enjoying ourselves and each other. Perhaps this is just me growing into motherhood, I'm not sure. But I am seriously enjoying being the parent of my sweet little two year old!

I'm considering this time a sweet calm before the storm of eventually adding another child to the mix. I'm not sure if I'm ready for it, but we'd like to pull the trigger soon before Calvin (and Mama!) gets too much older. 

On Being Mother to a Boy.

I've been reading through a collection of essays entitled It's A Boy!, which is a bunch of women writers reflecting on having sons.

It has made me reflect a bit, now that I have been the mother of a son for a whole 18 months (hardly an expert, I know!), on my own feelings on the matter. I was a woman who always wanted sons. I was ecstatic to receive the ultrasound images that revealed I was indeed to bear a son. I don't think I had a lot of hang-ups about bearing a child of the opposite gender to me; on the contrary, I welcomed that otherness!

Truthfully, I have loved pretty much every minute of being the mother of a boy, but probably more rightfully, simply a mother in general. I feel that parenthood has helped me understand who God is more, because I can more truly understand how He loves me as a parent loves their child. Knowing I can never even fathom the greatness of His love for me or for my own son is very humbling, and it inspires in me so much praise and thankfulness and love.

A little story about my baby from today:
Usually at library story time, he will sit in my lap during the songs and stories, transfixed and rarely moving except to clap after a song. Today I asked him if he wanted to get up and dance, and he stood up and started "singing" along, clapping, doing the movements, etc..., all in his little measured, engineer-y way. I was grinning from ear to ear and laugh-crying through it all.

I was trying to understand why my heart was so full in that moment. Maybe because he was doing something that I loved to do (artsy stuff like dancing and singing) and that I value. Perhaps it was that I have seen him go from weeks of carefully observing to have the courage to stand up and do. Or is it just that I adore pretty much every little thing he does? I don't really know.

Who can explain love? It just is. I simply love my sensitive, inquisitive, happy, smart little boy!