What To Do With Daylight

(Thank you Brooke Fraser, for providing me with that subject line. Everyone go out and listen to that album...ok, plug done.)

Well, it certainly has been an interesting day so far. It's funny how right on target my feminine intuition has been today.

I woke up, as per every Monday morning since I've started at Emogene cafe, and got all ready for work, but couldn't shake this nagging feeling that I should have looked at the schedule last week when I went to pick up my paycheck. Now, there is no real reason to look at the schedule since, as I mentioned, there has never been a Monday that I've not worked. However, I couldn't get rid of the feeling, and on my drive to work I must have hit every red light, and gotten caught behind every bus, street sweeper, tractor, and miscellaneous slow-moving Monday driver that the metro area had to offer. It was a bit of a nightmare!

And what are the first words my supervisor says to me when I walk in the door? "What? I don't think you're on the schedule, Cassie!" And sure enough, my schedule had been altered from its usual humdrum Mon-Wed 9-3 shift. Oh bother.

So I took this as a sign that I needed to be up and at 'em today for another reason. I decided to go home, put my writing pants on (aka pajamas! heh), and get down to my other business. And so far today I have submitted a few queries after much research, and on top of that I adopted a child with WorldVision. (Her name is Nesoli and she lives in Swaziliand. I chose one of the higher risk children for $5 more a month...I think I can swing it, right?)

It's only three o'clock now, so a lot can happen before I put my head to the pillow in nine hours. I prayed this morning for blessing, and I think I can feel a few in the works. God is a funny guy, so you never know!

Boring?

I've never really had anyone say this to my face, except for last night: I was told that this person thought I was fake and that my Christian persona was hiding something. This person and I don't really get along most of the time and I knew he was just trying to push my buttons. I own up to all my dirt, and I think because his pile of dirt is slightly bigger than mine (he does have about a decade on me...), he feels like no one's life could be that "pure".

So I don't really know if it's a good or a bad thing to be called "fake" for the Gospel. I know I will be persecuted (in a wimpy, Western sense of the word), but this is certainly not the form I thought it would take! My life really IS this boring, by the world's standards. I've not done any drugs, I'm a 22 year old virgin (by choice), and I try to live my life by the basic standards of "love God, love people". No, really. That's it. I pray and I go to church every Sunday and it isn't a front. This is my heart.

I suppose it was deeply insulting for someone to imply, even indirectly, that my dedication to Jesus and the Gospel was anything but profoundly real. You base your whole existence around something and anyone could just come up and point at it and say they don't think its real or they don't think it looks the way it should. And that's the way it goes. But I have the hope that the verse below applies to me...

Mat 5:10 Blessed [are] they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Immigration

I was reading articles titles the other day (yes, just titles), trolling for something interesting. I came across a title that alluded to the fact that Christians should view the influx of immigrants, legal or otherwise, as an opportunity to show God's love. Doesn't it say in Deuteronomy, when they're giving all the laws, that the "alien" should be able to come and live in Israel and have most of the rights of a Jew if he should become circumcised?

I thought this was an interesting concept. I have a more lenient view of immigration, I think, because I have tried to live in another country, and I know how much red tape is involved, and what it feels like to be a non-citizen, etc... I don't necessarily think that illegal immigrants should be able to get on the dole, or necessarily get in-state tuition, but I've heard far too many Christians say some really harsh things about illegals.

I'm not trying to come off as self-righteous here, but I'm just trying to make us think a little harder about the things we say and the way we think about everything around us. It's difficult when faced with some things, but I think the author of that article had a point! These people are here...they're obviously not getting deported anytime soon...so let's be Christians. We treat them as we would any other person, perhaps even with more special care because they are far from home, working hard at trying to make a better life for themselves. I'm not saying let's fling open the gates and let anybody in...I'm just sayin', one day we might not be the most prosperous country in the world, one where many people want to emigrate to. Let's use that status in a positive way while we still can.

Thoughts?

Truly Known

As great as things have been going in my world, recently I have been missing a certain thing in my life: the assurance of being really and truly known by another human being.

I think there are two or three people in this world that know me as well as my family does, and I don't live nearby any of them. Here in Denver, I have awesome friends, godly friends, a great church, a great dad, but for some reason lately I have been feeling a bit of a lack.

And I suppose the reason is that God is wanting me to draw nearer to Him; He who knows me best of all, and loves me just the same. But I know I am not alone in feeling like I would enjoy the human element once in awhile, too. I have been on my own a lot in this world because of my peripatetic lifestyle, a lot of situations when I have found myself praying, "Well, here we are again, just the two of us!"

I suppose my challenge is to either get known by the people I am around now (however one does such a thing...), or get more and more comfortable with this whole me and God thing. But I think I want both.

Nobody decided to inform me how much more difficult it is to forge deep friendships when you are not in school! And as much as I like travelling, I think that I will be having to forge new friendships more and more, each time I move and am alone again (naturally ;) ). And then that feeling of ennui comes around again when I feel lonely and it makes me feel like moving on, perpetuating the vicious cycle.

sigh.

Perhaps one day I will settle down and live in one place for the rest of my life, but for now I have that nagging feeling that I was just born to be a rolling stone.