Saturday, October 25, 2008

No Good Very Bad Week.

Far from wanting to air all my dirty laundry online and complain about how bad my life is at the moment, I still want people to know where I'm at and how I'm dealing with things that get thrown my way.

Thing 1: Car Crash (last Wednesday)
This is my second one of the year, and it was ALSO my fault. Don't dismiss me as a bad driver right away, though. In my humble opinion, this one was truly why they call them "accidents". I had terrible sun glare in my windshield, and couldn't see a single thing. I slowed down and tried to look in my rear view mirror in order to see if I could guide myself in that way, and realized I had drifted onto the wrong side of the road, because the road had curved right when I got blinded. *crash* The best part of all (she types, sarcastically) is that "driving on the wrong side of the road" is a four-point violation, and one which you MUST go to court over. D'oh. So now my car is in the shop (not badly injured, but enough to take four or five days to fix...) and I have a court date the day before Thanksgiving. Hurray.

Thing 2: In Sickness and In Health
Chris is sick. Hacking, coughing, spitting, cold-sore-getting sick. We sleep in the same bed every night. I am trying to get him not to breathe on me, but when you snuggle, that is a near-impossibility. Being newlyweds, not-snuggling is not an option. When my throat starts to feel tingly and swollen, I panic, because I cannot have a sore throat and do well at my involves a lot of singing and talking over twenty loud two-year-olds. Not good. Also, my body does NOT deal well with stress, so I can actually feel myself shutting down. *sigh*

Thing 3: JAIL
Not me, but my dad. Without going into too much detail because things are very unclear at the moment, my dad got arrested this past Tuesday at five in the morning on some pretty serious federal charges. Talk about a bad week for the Bertolucci family. He bonded out of jail yesterday, praise God, which means he can keep his business afloat and get his crap together before his trial dates, which we are still unclear on. The justice system seems pretty vague on a lot of things at this point, which I suppose is for security and protection issues, but it is aggravating nonetheless.

Lots and lots and lots of prayer. I am praying that my Joy remain ever before me, and that I do not fall into despair. I am grateful (oh so much) for a stable, loving husband who loves God and isn't prone to panic or be dramatic like I am. (He's a pessimist, but that's another story.) I am thanking God every day that I have a caring community of believers and friends around me who are excellent listeners, pray-ers, bolsters, and coffee-drinkers (which is important in times like these!)
Thank you, family and friends, for being those type of people. I love you immensely, and I hope I can do the same for you some day.

Monday, October 13, 2008

away from judgment

I'm attempting to leave harsh judgment of my fellow human beings behind.
I thought I wasn't judgmental. I thought I was open-minded.
Perhaps compared to some people, I was.
But compared to the way that my biggest hero viewed people, I am a bigot and Pharisee.
I apologize if this ever affected any of you. I love you and want to know you more for who you really are. I am attempting a shift in my life.
Pray for me!