Thursday, April 19, 2007

Sexy - Sex = Why?

I just read an article in Christianity Today that posed the question to it's readers: What does it mean to be created a sexual human being...who's not having sex? It's a conundrum that many single Christians deal with, I think, and I feel that it is particularly pertinent in my life right now.
In church and classes we've been talking a lot about gender roles, about funny quirks of men and women, and how the church has handled (or not handled) these issues in relation to us single folk. One must admit, as much as I believe in abstinence before marriage, it is a very strange dichotomy in this day and age to exist in the sex-saturated society and try to remain untouched by it!
Can we, as women, be sexy without becoming sex objects? Or should I use the words "attractive" or "feminine" to describe what I mean? Sometimes, I believe, the church has pushed us to a point where I feel like I need to be gender-neutral so I don't cause anyone to lust. From the time I went through puberty, I have always thought, "That's complete bullocks!"
Why would the good Lord give me hips and breasts (besides the obvious baby argument) that are attractive to men, and then expect me to spend my days figuring out how to hide them? Now, don't get me wrong, I also believe in modesty, but I am not going to go around in a potato sack so no one will notice that I have a figure! I want to get married some day!! (and when I have babies...THEN my hips and breasts will have dual purposes. Ha!)
Last night, I was having a talk with my non-Christian friends about this. It is very interesting to hear their perspective, and also the subtle ways that knowing me and my choices has changed their perspectives. While they used to make fun of me, and sometimes give me friendly ribbing still, I know that they respect me for it, and consider it to be a pretty good idea, on the whole. They have also seen how many times I am approached in bars, and how I have to try and handle these situations with tact (No, I will NOT have sex with you in the bathroom!). So they know that it's not for lack of opportunity that I am still a virgin (I'm in a band...come on!), but that it is a daily choice, even a moment-by-moment choice that I make out of deference for God's will rather than my own. It's also not that I go to extremes and either dress like a nun or a slut (unless t-shirt and jeans fits into these categories somehow), and they know that, too.
I just thought that this was a very intriguing question. The answers that people gave in the actual article can be found here.
If you have an opinion on this, I would like to hear it! I don't think I touched on half the things I would like to say on the subject, but this was my scattered first attempt.
I think my next step in answering this question in a Godly way is to go and read Song of Songs. (Woo woo!)

Monday, April 09, 2007

Moral Responsibility

I have this friend, see...
She can't make up her mind between the guy she's been dating forever, and the guy she can't seem to shake, who happens to be married with children. My dad and I are friends with all three unfortunate individuals in this love triangle. She hops partners so fast it makes my head spin.
I can't believe that her boyfriend keeps taking her back, after she has time and again betrayed him and publicly gone around town with this married man, who also used to be her boyfriend's best friend. (Yes, like sand through the hourglass...these are the Days of Our Lives!)
So I had a party at my house yesterday, and she was invited. She brought her lover to my house instead of her "boyfriend". I didn't know what my moral responsibility was in this situation. I wished I had a Christian version of Dear Abby to pose the question to. I felt like I didn't want this female friend in my house, flouting the concept of family and marriage and fidelity on the most holy day of the Christian calendar (or any other day, for that matter!)
But she had been invited and told she could bring guests. I couldn't very well kick her out, for I was the hostess, and she had also brought her teenage son along with his girlfriend, and they were nice and polite young people. I still don't know what I should have done, or how I should react to her in the future. I feel like the next time I see her back with her original boyfriend, I will scream. But if I see her out with her "other" guy, I will not want to talk to them at all.
Am I making too big a deal out of this? I know that in society, people would say this is really 'none of my business'. But if these people are my friends, and I have to communicate with them and be around them, and they bring their sordid affairs into my BECOMES my business.
*sigh* What's a girl to do?

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Watch this space...

It seems it has been awhile since I've written the ol' blog, and I thought today would be an appropriate day. I've had the weirdest last four days or so, and I cannot help but think, "What the heck is God doing?"
I'm not asking this in an impertinent way; I'm actually excited to see what it is. For some reason I have the feeling that there is a point to all the weirdness and moments of discomfort that I've been having. It all stems back to a single theme, so as I said, I'm excited to see what God does with me and with my life.
I will also comment that it is so good to be able to rely on God to be constantly changing and working through us. Even when I feel like my life may be stagnant (not recently, but I most certainly have felt that way), God is still present and he is still at work. When I try to imagine a life without God and the hope of heaven, I am overwhelmed with loneliness and despair. I'm sorry, but I just can't understand how people can be content to go through life without any real purpose!
OK, end rant. With Easter coming up, I feel like many things are coming into sharp focus for me, spiritually. For this, and the empty tomb, I am eternally grateful.