Thursday, April 19, 2007

Sexy - Sex = Why?

I just read an article in Christianity Today that posed the question to it's readers: What does it mean to be created a sexual human being...who's not having sex? It's a conundrum that many single Christians deal with, I think, and I feel that it is particularly pertinent in my life right now.
In church and classes we've been talking a lot about gender roles, about funny quirks of men and women, and how the church has handled (or not handled) these issues in relation to us single folk. One must admit, as much as I believe in abstinence before marriage, it is a very strange dichotomy in this day and age to exist in the sex-saturated society and try to remain untouched by it!
Can we, as women, be sexy without becoming sex objects? Or should I use the words "attractive" or "feminine" to describe what I mean? Sometimes, I believe, the church has pushed us to a point where I feel like I need to be gender-neutral so I don't cause anyone to lust. From the time I went through puberty, I have always thought, "That's complete bullocks!"
Why would the good Lord give me hips and breasts (besides the obvious baby argument) that are attractive to men, and then expect me to spend my days figuring out how to hide them? Now, don't get me wrong, I also believe in modesty, but I am not going to go around in a potato sack so no one will notice that I have a figure! I want to get married some day!! (and when I have babies...THEN my hips and breasts will have dual purposes. Ha!)
Last night, I was having a talk with my non-Christian friends about this. It is very interesting to hear their perspective, and also the subtle ways that knowing me and my choices has changed their perspectives. While they used to make fun of me, and sometimes give me friendly ribbing still, I know that they respect me for it, and consider it to be a pretty good idea, on the whole. They have also seen how many times I am approached in bars, and how I have to try and handle these situations with tact (No, I will NOT have sex with you in the bathroom!). So they know that it's not for lack of opportunity that I am still a virgin (I'm in a band...come on!), but that it is a daily choice, even a moment-by-moment choice that I make out of deference for God's will rather than my own. It's also not that I go to extremes and either dress like a nun or a slut (unless t-shirt and jeans fits into these categories somehow), and they know that, too.
I just thought that this was a very intriguing question. The answers that people gave in the actual article can be found here.
If you have an opinion on this, I would like to hear it! I don't think I touched on half the things I would like to say on the subject, but this was my scattered first attempt.
I think my next step in answering this question in a Godly way is to go and read Song of Songs. (Woo woo!)

1 comment:

Paul said...

You feel pressure from within the church to be "gender-neutral"? I can't think of any time since I've been at Bear Valley that anything that might give that impression has been said, either from the pulpit, or from our Sunday School teacher (even on his best button-pushing days), or from comments among us young hipsters. Does it happen and I am just oblivious? (This is not entirely unlikely...)

What do you think of the "modesty check" from the college ministry at Grace Community Church? Is this the "wear a potato sack" attitude that you call B*LLOCKS? Or is it a list of pretty good, practical checks for modesty? I'm curious.