As great as things have been going in my world, recently I have been missing a certain thing in my life: the assurance of being really and truly known by another human being.
I think there are two or three people in this world that know me as well as my family does, and I don't live nearby any of them. Here in Denver, I have awesome friends, godly friends, a great church, a great dad, but for some reason lately I have been feeling a bit of a lack.
And I suppose the reason is that God is wanting me to draw nearer to Him; He who knows me best of all, and loves me just the same. But I know I am not alone in feeling like I would enjoy the human element once in awhile, too. I have been on my own a lot in this world because of my peripatetic lifestyle, a lot of situations when I have found myself praying, "Well, here we are again, just the two of us!"
I suppose my challenge is to either get known by the people I am around now (however one does such a thing...), or get more and more comfortable with this whole me and God thing. But I think I want both.
Nobody decided to inform me how much more difficult it is to forge deep friendships when you are not in school! And as much as I like travelling, I think that I will be having to forge new friendships more and more, each time I move and am alone again (naturally ;) ). And then that feeling of ennui comes around again when I feel lonely and it makes me feel like moving on, perpetuating the vicious cycle.
Perhaps one day I will settle down and live in one place for the rest of my life, but for now I have that nagging feeling that I was just born to be a rolling stone.