To Be or Not To Be A "Lady"?

It is a real pet peeve of mine when I do something and people will say, "It's
impressive, but its not very ladylike!" Who the flamin' heck cares if it's
ladylike?

Have I ever tried to fool anyone into thinking that I was a
ladylike kind of girl?? NO! I'm a belching, tofu-eating,
non-toenail-polish-removing girl. Guess what? Sometimes I don't shave my
legs...for weeks at a time!! Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth and I'll chew
gum instead! Sometimes I pick my nose! I don't shower every day!

And yet
here I am: an attractive, intelligent, witty girl of twenty two. I wear dresses
and heels still, but I might forget to cross my legs once in awhile. Lady,
schmady! Take it or leave it!

PS It's really horrible when people
suggest that all these things are maybe why I don't have a boyfriend. I don't
have a boyfriend because I beat boys back with a stick. That's why I don't have
a boyfriend, dammit!

The above is a blog that I was going to post on my Myspace page, but I decided to make a Daily Christian blog out of it, too. I want to know, How ladylike does a modern Christian woman have to be? Are there rules? I know a lot of you will immediately tell me about the Wife of Noble Character in the book of Proverbs, but never does it say that a single girl of noble character has to remove all her toenail polish as soon as it starts showing signs of wear. Are you seeing my point here? Is there a moral/spiritual issue here at all, or am I just making one up? I don't really know.

All I do know is that if guys can skip a shower or two, if they are allowed to be real people who have bodily functions and the like...well, I don't see why females should be forced to pretend our bowels never make noise, or that we never have any boogers. (I'm not saying you have to pick your nose all the time, but you know what I mean!) I don't go around passing gas everywhere and taking delight in it, but really...to say I don't have a boyfriend because I can burp louder than any guy I've met? Is that to say I will never become a Wife of Noble Character, just because some people think I am not a ladylike-enough singleton?

I don't think so. I refuse to think so. I'll keep refusing to think so even if I become a crazy cat lady. Because there is a principal here that I am basing all this on...women are human too! Just because we are the fairer sex, just because we make ourselves more gorgeous with makeup and hairtools and tweezers and wax and lotions and perfumes and the list goes on and on...doesn't mean we don't have flatulence.

And that's all I have to say about that.