Sunday, September 24, 2006

One big D'OH!!

I remember last Sunday at church, or perhaps Wednesday at Bible Study, I made a comment to the effect of, "Just when you think that you've got a certain part of your life under control, just when you think that you've made huge leaps forward, that seems exactly when you get to be humbled again."

I proved my own point to the world last night.

I had the most stressful day at work that I've ever had at any day of any work before. It was a bit of a bonding experience for those of us who worked it, so we decided to go to the bar after work to chill out and de-stress. Even at the beginning of the night, I had this flash-forward (probably a warning from the Holy Spirit) where I didn't exactly see why the night would be bad, but I knew very clearly that I would regret the effects of staying there at the pub with my work friends.

For some reason I dimissed this and decided to stay. As the night wore on, more and more alcohol was consumed (mixing is such a bad idea! Why do I do it?!), and then my stomach revolted. I'm sure I don't need to get into specifics, but it was certainly no bueno. I had to call my dad (well, actually my friend Lindsey had to call him) to come pick me up, and I'm sure I smelled to high heaven and looked a fright. Poor daddy.

Anyway, the point of all this is: I thought I was so much better than everyone in this area of my life. That's the truth. I still had a lot of pride, thinking to myself like the praying Pharisee, "Oh God, thank you that I am not like all those other people, who go out and get drunk and puke all over their friends and fathers." I had been so good of late, trying very hard to think, do I really want a drink or am I drinking because it's there?

The lesson I learned in all this is: Don't get prideful!! Because I will be humbled!! God loves me this much. He doesn't let me get away with certain things.

This has been hard for me because, of course, I don't want anyone to know this happened. None of my church friends would have had to know, the rest of my family didn't have to know...but I promised at the beginning that I would be brutally honest. So far it has worked well for me, and I think it has helped others too. This is the greatest blessing I have received from God lately: to use my horrible screw-ups to become more humble, sympathetic to the bad decisions of others, because I know sometimes how easy they are to make.

In the life of a Christian, there will be the morning-after...there will be bad behaviour and then regret. The key to all this is repentance. Just as Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." John 8:11


Kevin said...

Knowing this blogger like I do, I ask............what is the use for drinking?

Personally, I trust that there are easier ways to learn any lessons that alcohol will teach you.

Never the less, the point you make is valid for us all. We all have feet made of clay from time to time, and the tide in our spiritual lives ebbs and flows constantly just as it does at the beach.


Paul said...

From Romans 7:
What I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. ... For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Unfortunately we have to live this tension every day until Glory. The good thing is that we are no longer doomed to a losing battle!

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.