Thursday, September 21, 2006

And now, for another Good Idea, Bad Idea!

Last night I had a dream about someone that I once liked. It wasn't anything too exciting, but I was reminded about how ridiculously smart this person is, and how much I used to like being around him. As he's lived his life, this person decided he does not need to live a Christian lifestyle. However, in the dream I was thinking, "Why aren't we in a relationship? This would be so perfect!"


...And then I woke up.

When this single Christian gets a tad lonely, it becomes easier and easier for me to rationalize starting up a relationship with someone who is not a Christian. Part of this is because I don't see any Christian prospects on the horizon, and part of it is that it seems I attract all these smart or cute or talented boys...that aren't believers. They have high IQs, they speak foreign languages, they have interesting jobs and have travelled the world... They ask me out, or what have you, and I have to shut them down. (What's the deal here!?!)

On my stronger days, I will tell you what a horrible idea it is, yoking oneself to an unbeliever, and I would tell you that I wouldn't even dream of it! But the truth of the matter is, I would. Dream of it, that is. And I sometimes do. I'll think, 'What's wrong with me being in a relationship with someone who is, in all other respects, absolutely perfect for me?? That doesn't seem fair!' I'll think, 'What if I never find a Christian man like this one?'

In reality, loneliness and hormones aside, what the question really boils down to, and what I will always do good to remember, is simply this: "Do I trust God?" Do I truly trust the Creator of the universe, who knows me better and still loves me more completely than any human ever could? Don't I think that He will know what's best for me? It saddens me to think that I would ever doubt this. But sometimes with my actions, if not my actual thoughts, this is exactly what I am doing.

I will leave it up to you to know or to find out why this type of romantic relationship is such a bad idea. I will not expound on that here, now. I woke up from my dream sad that this "perfect" person and I couldn't be. I decided that the only thing I can do is pray for his salvation, pray that he will return to the Way in which he was raised. Because if a man doesn't love the Lord with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength...well, then.

I'll just have to keep waiting.

1 comment:

Patchy said...

You are truly 'keeping it real'...what an inspiration.

Your Brother in Christ,