Thursday, July 16, 2009

The California Blues

So the past few weeks have been very intense and wonderful/horrible for me. Some of you may have read my husband's moving account of what he's been thinking and feeling recently of our newly acquired California identity. My account mirror's his somewhat.

If you've spoken to me at all recently, you may have noticed that I'm not necessarily my chipper, optimistic self. I was hit pretty hard with what the professionals call "situational depression" and "anxiety", but what I shall call "The California Blues". I don't need to be monitored or drugged or anything, but it was a major event that I'm not entirely sure is over. Even looking around me at the beautiful California sunshine, I was anxious, depressed, slightly panicky and an all-around mess. My health has been suffering, not to say anything of my demeanor!

I think part of this is that I was up until very recently working six days a week. This gave me little to no time to process our big move out here from Denver. Finding my way at my new job was very strenuous. You'd think that Gymboree in San Jose would be just like working at Gymboree in Denver, but it is not. So many things are different and that is very stressful for me. I'm coming out of it now. I asked for an extra day off and when it was granted, I felt like I had a whole new lease on life! TWO whole days off!!

I've been clinging to God and my husband and new friends in this time. Thanks be to God for the love and support of my family, as well. The Harmons are a huge, huge blessing. My mommy sent me some herbal supplements that are supposed to help with mood, so I'm looking forward to seeing a little improvement in my entire outlook.

The great news is that the church plant is blossoming and our plans seem to be thriving as we continue to seek God. As Chris mentioned in his blog, no book you read on the subject seems to tell you about the "honeymoon phase" of church-planting coming to an end. (Probably because what we're doing is more like becoming missionaries than the church-planting norm.) However, we continue to carry on. Prayer meetings are already under way, we are building relationships with area churches and their pastors, and hopefully beginning to really get a feel for where the city is at the moment and how we can best serve the people of San Jose.

As a side note, in case you are interested, here are four albums that I really leaned on to help me feel less panicky and depressed:

1. Ben Lee - Awake is the New Sleep
2. Regina Spektor - Far
3. Richard Buckner - Bloomed
4. Ray LaMontagne - Til the Sun Turns Black

(It's not surprising for a musical person to lean on music in a time of crisis, is it?)

1 comment:

letitia said...

Thanking God for music, too :]

HUUUUUG (without hurting myself or others -- hehe)