Now that this church-planting business is more out in the open, I can finally blog about it! I've been writing prayers down for the past couple of weeks, and sending them to Jason and Chris, but I've been itching to just kind of write out what I've been thinking and experiencing in this process so far.
My first thought is, "Wow, God is so awesome." I mean awesome in the more biblical sense of the word...He fills me with awe.
My thoughts that come tumbling after are: "What the heck? Church planting? Where did this come from? We never dreamed of this. Why does God think we can do this?"
Many lovely people we know are realistic and tell us things like, "This is going to be the hardest and most painful thing you've ever done." I know that they are speaking from experience and trying to be helpful, but I am such an optimist that I almost completely disregard anything negative as "nay saying". Just like when people told Chris and me that our honeymoon phase would not last and that we would get used to each other, etc... I kind of know it is true, but I don't want it to be true, and in some sense don't we sort of create our own reality? Anyway, I'm kind of blathering.
So, I kind of feel like I'm back in college again. You know, sitting around in coffee shops, talking in very philosophical (or sophomoric!) terms, not knowing much about what we're getting into, and dreaming big dreams. And who didn't love college? So far, life hasn't been that terrible for me. Things generally work out, and though sometimes they are hard, I haven't had too many giant faith-shaking events. I feel I perhaps lived a charmed life, and that scares me a little because what if there really is a horrible world out there, just waiting for me to fail...instead of the sunshine and shiny happy people that I believe are there? Am I too naive? Is that necessarily bad?
I don't know anything about church planting. I barely feel like I know the men I am following out to California (well, I feel like I know Chris of course, but we HAVE only been married for three months!). I am totally trusting God alone, that He will take care of us, not give us more than we can bear, and that we will succeed or fail for the sake of the Gospel, and that there is nothing more noble than that in the whole wide world. Or else what are we doing?
1 comment:
Outrageous! "The hardest and most painful thing you have ever done"?
Matthew 7:25-34.
I cannot imagine that two people such as you and Chris, armed with the motive of spreading Gods love to your fellows, will be rewarded with hardship and pain. Perhaps your circumstances will, from time to time, be less than what we have come to understand as ideal, but your hearts will always be assured that He loves you and cares for you.
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