Greatest Accomplishments

What are your five greatest accomplishments?

Hmmm...this is another one where I feel like there are obvious answers like "my relationship with God" (which is more His accomplishment) or "my family", but I feel like these aren't really "accomplishments", but more gifts of grace. I feel a bit weird calling relationships accomplishments, because it also gives the notion that they are static and finished, when of course they are dynamic and require constant attention.

However, if I take away awesome relationships, could I even come up with five other things I have accomplished? I'm not really sure I could! So let's just see where this goes...

1. Graduating from college - I feel good about this one not because it is super-important to life, but more because I think I am the first one in my family to actually do so, or at least to earn a Bachelor's degree. People in my family have attended college, gotten AA degrees, gotten certification in all kinds of awesome things, but I am either the first or one of a few that stuck it out to have a Bachelor's. So, that's pretty cool. A big part of this was also learning to adapt and live in another country (Australia). Even though they speak English, Australia is a vastly different place than America! So I'm proud of myself for becoming an honorary Aussie, too.

2. Marriage and Motherhood - See, I couldn't even get halfway through this list without mentioning a relationship! Ha. But now that I'm thinking about it, since you DO have to work at it every day, I guess marriage is an accomplishment if you stick with it and constantly work at having a healthy one. Your dad and I have only made it 5.5 years so far, but since there is so much divorce in our family, I guess we have something to be proud of as we continue to try and sacrificially love each other day in and day out. And motherhood is as difficult as it is rewarding; I have to try very hard every day to be patient and unselfish and forgiving, because these do not come naturally to me! So I guess I'm going to go ahead and name these as accomplishments, even though it is all accomplished in God's grace.

3. Becoming Entrepreneurial - This is an accomplishment because I always considered myself extremely unambitious in anything business-related. But my friend Erin pointed out that not only have I marketed and sold things I've made myself (like in an Etsy shop and elsewhere), but also taught private singing lessons and group lessons for children! Without even thinking about it too hard, I guess I do have a little bit of an entrepreneurial spirit after all! It's not my passion, but I can do it when I need the money! =)

4. Learning to Play the Piano - I started teaching myself when I was a teenager and I haven't stopped learning since! I definitely did a lot of learning in college, when I had my dearest Ludmila Beliavskaia as my teacher...she taught me the right way and the classical way. But, when your dad and I were just friends and trying to get a very small ministry on it's feet, I was called upon to be the worship leader. I was terrified and terrible at worship-leading on a piano, but after years and years of practice, I am starting to be more and more comfortable behind the piano and in front of the congregation. I have gotten to the point where I don't always have to be looking at my fingers, which is huge! ha ha.

5. Staying in One Place - My whole life I haven't lived in one house for very long, even if I lived in the same city. I think the years from 7th-12th grade is the longest I've lived in one city, even though we moved houses and I moved schools while we lived there. Anyway, the point is that we've been in San Jose for about five years now and I don't foresee us moving anytime soon. So, this is the longest I've spent in one place as an adult. Not to say I haven't dreamed (and let's face it, still do dream) about other places and parallel lives I could be living somewhere else. But I'm still here! I'm sticking it out with the Dwell community, as your dad's wife and as your mama. This is big for me.

There you have it! I have also written a novel, although no one would ever mistake it for the next Great American Novel... and not a Nobel Prize or cure for cancer on the list. But I'm not even 30 yet, so you never know. ;)

And speaking of accomplishments, I'm halfway through this series of 30 things AND I just celebrated my 20,000th all-time page view of this blog! (It only took me years and years to get there, but hey! Slow and steady, right?)

Books that Have My Heart

Today's prompt was supposed to be me listing 10 pet peeves I have. However, it seemed excessively negative...I don't need any encouragement in enumerating things that annoy me. And since you live with me, my guess is that you will have a great grasp of that list and don't need help with that one.

So I decided to tweak it. There are a list of books I have that whenever I think about them I just get happy or see them in the book store and have this near-uncontrollable impulse to buy, even though I already own a copy. I thought this list might be more edifying!

I was excited to receive books as gifts even as a little one!

As with any of my "top whatever" lists, it's coming off the top of my head and not through any extensive research. I'm sure I could list more, but these are the ones that spring immediately to mind. I could talk for hours and hours about authors and books and genres and titles and on and on and on. These books are not the most worthy in the world, they're just the ones I have a special attachment to. 

1. The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster - (I almost recalled the author's name as Burton Guster, but he's from the show Psych. lol) This strange and wonderful adventure starts out with a bored little boy. I couldn't believe how inventive and even sort of dark this book was when I was a kid!! You'll always find it around our house.

2. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy - I just thought this was a masterpiece. Daddy tried to read it when we were dating to impress me. Let's just say we've been married over five years and he's still not finished reading it! Ha ha.

3. The Brothers K by David James Duncan - This is a family saga that I have read multiple times. I think about scenes from it often. Can't say exactly what I love or what made it have such staying power in my mind. Maybe one day you can read it and tell me what you think?

4. The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett - This is another sweeping historical saga (I'm fond of these). I've read it at least five times, along with its sequel-of-sorts, World Without End.

5. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden - For a time I was obsessed with Asian writers and stories set in either China or Japan. This was my favorite book for a very long time! Wild Swans is another one that has stuck with me; that one is an actual memoir which makes it all the more memorable and left quite an impression.

6. George's Marvelous Medicine by Roald Dahl - I read this very short book in school and was so taken with how wicked it was. The author finally acknowledged how horrible some parents can be, as well as children, and I think I found that refreshing as a child. Many other of Roald Dahl's books could have made this list, including Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Witches, and The BFG.

7. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins - Perhaps I should be embarrassed to have this on here, but I'm not. Maybe these books and movies won't be a big deal when you're older, but I'll probably introduce you to them anyway! Bet you can't read just one.

8. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez - There is something about magical realism that resonates with me. Your Yaya sent me this book while I was in college in Australia and I devoured it. Love in the Time of Cholera is also amazing.

9. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell - I stole this from Hayley Byrd at summer camp when her mom was trying to get her to read more and suggesting books to her. I read it in a matter of days, could NOT put it down!! Then I had my first real encounter with "the book is SO much better than the movie" syndrome. In this case, it couldn't be more true!

10. The Bible - Though my faithfulness to its contents will wax and wane, it never becomes old or irrelevant. Charles Spurgeon said, "Nobody ever outgrows scripture; the Book widens and deepens with our years." I have found this to be true.

There you go, a little (tiny) glimpse into my literary life. I pray you will be a reader like your Mama and Daddy, then you can keep me up-to-date on all the stuff I missed!

Influence

List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

in·flu·ence

ˈinflo͝oəns/

noun

1. 1.

   the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something.

WOW. This one is a doozy. I've lived a bunch of places and met a lot of great people, and I feel as if I've been shaped by them all into the person I am today. It's a bit unfair to do this to a person with such a large and amazing family, but let's see if I can attempt a list... The first three are easy.

1. My mama (your Yaya)
Mothers influence their children, yes. So this is a very obvious one. My mama is truly one of the best people I know. She taught me how to trust my gut, how to be kind and aware, how to appreciate beauty in all kinds of surprising places. She taught me how to care for myself (in every possible way!) and how to love people even if they've hurt you. I'm so glad you get to know your Yaya.

2. My dad (your Papa John)
A girl needs her dad. And my dad did the very best in all his circumstances to be with me, to spend time with me, to support me (financially and in other ways). In this, he taught me what it means to honor your responsibilities and also to just love your child. I think I got a lot of my sense of humor from my dad, which has been a very valuable asset in this life!

3. My step-dad (your Grandpa Kev)
This guy got to be my live-in dad throughout my teenage years and has influenced me in ways too numerous to count!! He's another one who taught me responsibility to your family. He taught me how to do real life, like opening a bank account and getting a job. He also lent me much of his sense of humor, as well as libertarian leanings. One of the most important things he ever said to me was right before I flew off to college: "Don't be afraid to ask for help." It helped me find my way in a new country and continues to be something so important to life in general. He's an amazing dude.

Here's where the list starts getting tricky...I have three sisters and a brother, amazing aunts, uncles, grandmas and grandpas, cousins and what-have-you. It's pretty hard to start naming some and not others (especially without offending someone! Ha.) when it comes to who has been an influence on me. So hopefully I'll still have friends when this is over. =) These are in no particular order of importance. 

4. Hayley Byrd - Hayley and I have been friends since we were 13. That's gotta count for something in this crazy world. She was a huge influence on me in junior high and high school, because I thought she was one of the coolest chicks ever, and I am so grateful that we have just remained friends through it all. I think I can attribute some of my outspokenness to Hayley; she helped me know it was okay to have an opinion (yes, world, you can partially blame Hayley). I think it's important to still be friends with someone who knew you when you were at your most awkward and terrible. It's humbling. The fact that we still like each other is very encouraging to me as a human.


5. Samantha Freestone - So many ways Sam has influence me - and all of them good. She taught me that true friends practice fairly extreme honesty, especially when those friends are also schoolmates, roommates, and sisters in Christ. She constantly encourages me to love God deeper, to dare to be different, and to follow God's plan for my life. And she does this all from 10,000 miles away. What I wouldn't give to bring Sydney to California...but I'm so grateful for the technology -and love - that keeps us connected.

6. Chris Tenny - This is another obvious one. I'm trying to think of all the ways your dad has influenced me. I mean, he entered my life and was the first man I ever really loved. I fell in love with his humble leadership and obvious desire to follow the Lord faithfully. He made me a wife, a pastor's wife, a church planter, and helped me become a mom. In other words, he has helped me become all the things I think I was created to be. He influences the direction of our family. I learn how to be a faithful servant from your dad every single day!

7. Calvin Tenny - I couldn't skip you, my little one! You might not be that great at talking yet, but you have influenced my life possibly in the greatest way of all, seeing as the shift to being a parent seemed one of the most seismic in my life so far. Your influence affects my sleep, my mood, my way of looking at the whole world. I have to evaluate pretty much everything now with you in mind! You are teaching me how to truly love sacrificially.

8. Becca Anderson (and all my siblings) - My baby sister has been a very close friend to me. By virtue of the way we grew up, we were thrown into a lot of the same situations and had to deal with them in our own ways, but we did it mostly together. When we were growing up quite small, she and I were like oil and water, but as time went by and Christ had an influence on both our lives, we became closer. She has also shown me a true servant heart and what it looks like to care for the ones you love. She also has this amazing work ethic that I truly admire. I love my sister Rachel because I feel like we are the most alike: introverts who love reading and fiercely love our families and children. Blair is the spitfire and I love to be around her. We probably talk on the phone most often because she's great at chatting even when I am not. My baby brother is responsible for the first maternal-type feelings I ever recall having. I can still remember finding out we were finally getting a brother and the crazy excitement of the day he was born. I've learned so much from watching him live his life since then.

He'll probably kill me for this photo - jazz hands!

9. Jason Helveston - Jason is different; he isn't influential because of a super-close relationship that we've had for years, as with the other people in this list, but I can say he has been a huge influence on the life I'm living right now. I am in California because of his wild idea to plant a church in downtown San Jose. The past five or so years have been directly influenced by his vision for this city, for Dwell Christian Church, and for ministry. He's a wonderful pastor to his church, and husband and father to his family. I love that he married Laura because she's an amazing pastor's wife and friend and model of loving motherhood. I'm so glad you get to grow up with their kiddos!

10. Jesus - You knew it was coming! Yes, my son, I believe Jesus was a real, historical person who walked this Earth. I hope my life is a testimony to how someone who lived over 2000 years ago can be the most influential person I've ever encountered. I hope His influence is the one you can sense most strongly in my life, and I pray He becomes the most influential person in yours!!

Oh the Places You'll Go!!

The prompt for today was supposed to be about 5 passions I have. However, I feel like I've really addressed those in previous posts about my three wishes, my dream job, and others. I don't want to start sounding like a broken record.

So instead, I thought I would tell you about some of the places I've lived...there have been a lot!

I was born in Watsonville, California, which is an agricultural area on the central coast of California, not too far from where we live now. It is the Strawberry Capital of the World, and there have always been jokes about that having to do with my hair color. =)

For a little while, we lived in Santa Cruz while my mom and dad were married. They and their parents were all born around there. Then, my mom moved down south, and I have lived all over Southern California; from the high desert of Antelope Valley, east to Chino, with my dad for awhile in West Covina, Azusa, Glendora; down to Lakewood, Seal Beach, and Long Beach for my school years with my mom and step-dads.

So, I'd consider myself quite the citizen of Southern California.

In the middle of that time somewhere, I had a time that I spent in the mountains of Colorado with my Auntie Leslie and Uncle Chuck.

Long Beach was a really great place to grow up, and I still have great fondness for it, and for friends who still live there. It was close to the beach with amazing weather, and relatively safe, at least where we lived. I am still proud to say I grew in Long Beach if anyone ever asks.

Familiar Long Beach faces

Upon graduating from Millikan High School in Long Beach, I set off to Sydney, Australia for college. I went to school in Drummoyne, a suburb of Sydney, and lived in the suburbs of Leichhardt (Little Italy), Canada Bay, and also Drummoyne. Somehow, with a little help, I managed to live in one of the more expensive and beautiful cities in the world as a college student...and I didn't starve! I love and miss Australia, but as I graduated and tried to figure out how to stay in the country, it became apparent that short of marrying a citizen or remaining illegally, it was time to move on.

Don't cry for me, Australia...

I traveled back to the US to live with my dad (your Papa John). He lived in Lakewood, CO, which is a suburb of Denver. I lived with Papa John until the day I married your daddy. What a gorgeous place to live!

In Summer or winter!

Then the both of us moved out to San Jose to plant a church, and we have been here ever since. It's where you were born (well, technically in the hospital in Santa Clara), and it's where you will most likely grow up and go to school. Sometimes I am ungrateful and whine about how expensive it is to live here, but I know that God has brought us here and that He will sustain us. 

Three Wishes

If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?

Ugh, I hate this question. The obvious answer is more wishes. But that's not the point of the question. Then I'm wondering what IS the point of the question? Should I answer in a fun way (dump truck full of cheese?) or in an altruistic way (world peace?). 

You know what? Close enough!

Sigh. I feel like I can't win with this one. But I'll give it a go, assuming the point is to learn about my wildest dreams.

1. Wish I had enough money to adopt as many kids and teenagers as is possible for one mom and one dad to adequately raise. Enough to help my teenagers get started at college and to buy clothes and food for them all and a big ol' house for us to live in. Maybe I should contact the Duggars for advice on this one.

2. Then, I wish I could take all those kids on trips around the world so they could become true global citizens and we could have a lot of fun.

3. I wish I could have all the time in the world to spend relaxing with, cherishing, and nurturing my husband and kids, and doing creative things to satisfy my soul too.

(So basically I want to be Angelina Jolie?)

But you see where I'm going...my passions are adoption/family, travel, and time spent with the ones I love and doing creative things. Sorry I couldn't save the world with my wishes...but someone beat me to it.

Happy, Happy, Happy (HappyHappy)

Day Five of the 30 Things Challenge is to describe the 5 things that make me most happy right now.

EASY.

#5 - CHEESE. If you don't know me very well, you might think I'm kidding, but I'm not. I'll not go into detail but just seeing cheese on this list should give you an idea of how much I love it.

#4 - Work. Being Office Admin of Dwell Christian Church is a pretty sweet gig, I must say. It has helped me love the church as a whole even more than I did before...which is saying something.

#3 - Creating. Whether it be dried fruit in my new dehydrator, dinner for my family, something sewn, knitted, crocheted, sung, played or written...I truly do love to create. Even if the product isn't entirely awesome every single time. It's the process. But who are we kidding, a great product is pretty amazing, too.

#2 - Being Mrs. Tenny. Which of course means being wife to my husband and mother to my son and pastor's wife at Dwell and daughter and niece and granddaughter... So basically I'm saying that my role as friend and family member brings me great joy.

#1 - Being a child of God. - Saved from the way I was and adopted as His daughter through Christ...pretty much nothing can touch that.

Sixteen Ain't the Top

I remember being 16. I remember thinking it was pretty darn awesome, and that I was pretty darn awesome, and that things were only going to get more awesome as time went on. These are all true. Sixteen was fun. But it wasn't the peak, thank God...

Here are ten things I would tell my sixteen year old self, if I could:

1. You will actually look forward to turning 30 and growing even older...don't listen to John Mellencamp when he tells you to "hold on to 16 as long as you can". Hold onto 16 for exactly one year, then move on!

2. You are a beautiful young girl. You don't need more makeup or less clothes to prove this. Relax and let your character be the attractive part of you (I see you rolling your eyes, young lady!! Don't worry, you will still struggle with this as you age.)

3. Stop scrubbing your face so hard and picking at it!! But continue to NOT wash your hair every day, even though it chagrins your mother. Everyone will find out you were right in a couple years. Also, enjoy your ridiculous metabolism, but start exercising as a good habit.

4. People-pleasing will only get more exhausting as you get older. Might as well break that habit now!

5. College is gonna be SO AWESOME! You have no idea.

6. Forgiveness that you have chosen is the right path. Keep on it. You are not what has happened to you. You are God's child and He is a God of forgiveness.

7. Just hush a little. I'm not saying don't assert yourself. I'm saying stop being such a wench...you're trying much too hard and people are afraid of you a little bit.

8. Go with your gut and don't look back. Mama taught you true.

9. Yes, you will fall in love with a lovely man, get married and have a kid. Be patient on that front.

10. God's way is the best way. Continue to go where you sense His leading and you will be just fine.

Godspeed, kid!

30 Things My Kids Need to Know About Me - Challenge for February

Here is the index to the 30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me challenge I'm trying to tackle through the month of February. 

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have? Tell me about the places you have lived. 
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment. 
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have. Books that have my heart.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?
14. Describe 5 weaknesses and strengths you have.
15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the one thing you wish you were great at?
18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?
19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. Describe your relationship with your siblings.
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse? 
29. What are your hopes and dreams for your future? 
30. List 10 things you hope to be remembered for.

3 Legitimate Fears

Explain 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

This is a tough one. I used to be afraid of a lot of things. But trying to come up with legitimate fears that remain...well, that's actually getting more and more difficult as time goes on. Which is a good thing!!

I think I have one fear that is absolutely legitimate, and that is having any real harm befall my family. So I guess I could list a few that are common for mamas and wives the world 'round.

1. Anything happening to my kiddos - this one started the moment I knew I was pregnant with you and I'm sure will continue all my natural life. I think this Elizabeth Stone quote sums it up perfectly: “Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ”

2. Cancer - Your daddy had a bout with thyroid cancer earlier this year, and your sweet great-grandpa was claimed by it just a few months ago. Needless to say, I try and feed my family right and pray for your health, but cancer seems to be one of those things that we have little control over. That scares me.

3. I'd be grasping at straws for this third one. I used to be afraid of the dark. Lots and lots of good reasons why, actually. I'll tell you about them one day, even though it is exactly the kind of thing I'd love to shield you from for the rest of your life. 

One thing is sure, our God is bigger than all these things. He told Israel, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10) The fear of the Lord is the only fear you or I really need to worry about. 

Here's Lookin' at You, Kid!

My dear friend Holly Brown turned me onto this series of blog prompts that are meant to help your children to know you better.

I see the value in this because it is really easy for children to think of you only as their parent and not realize that you have any life (or HAD any life) that isn't completely consumed by them. I think coming to view people as holistic creatures is humanizing, and so I thought to myself, "Why not?"

I can't promise that all these posts will be interesting for everybody. Since they're all about "me" and they are for my kid, I don't blame you for starting to think I'm a narcissistic twit by the end! But blogging is a humbling experience in a lot of ways, so I'm willing to share a bit about myself even at the risk of sounding like an idiot!

So here goes Day 1 - List 20 Random Facts About Yourself

1. I love to play the piano but am equally terrified of the instrument itself because I know I will never be good enough to bring out all the awesomeness that the piano deserves. Sometimes this scares me into not learning more. 

2. I've been a redhead since birth, but my hair only started growing out of my head curly since I was about fourteen. I've been a bit confused how to deal with it ever since!

3. I was a huge tomboy well into middle school years. I was obsessed with football, dressed rather boyish and was constantly being asked if I was a lesbian. Even your Yaya assured me it would be okay with her if I were. Ha ha. 

4. I'm not a lesbian and I still love football.

5. I'm obsessed with lists: 1001 Books to Read Before You Die, AFI Top 100 Greatest Movies of All Time, even just making to-do lists and crossing things off it. It gives me a very satisfied feeling. 

6. I've dealt a fair bit with anxiety and depression in my short life and am pretty thankful that it hasn't ever gotten any worse or harder to manage. 

7. I became a follower of Christ in July of 1997 at Hume Lake Christian Camp. I didn't fully know what I was getting into but through every storm of life, I've never regretted my decision.

8. I'm still never sure whether I'm an introvert or extrovert and I feel like I've taken every test and evaluation known to man to try and discern it. I feel like it is a helpful thing to know!

9. Your dad is the first man I have ever been in love with and the first man I ever told "I love you" and meant it in a way like I want to marry you and have your babies. =)

10. I've been the oldest, middle, youngest, and only child, just depending on who my mom was married to at any given time in my life. 

11. We're not really related to your Aunties Rachel and Blair except through love. This follows #10 above, as my mom was married to their dad and we were small together and we grew up loving each other as sisters, and I saw no reason why that should stop when our parents divorced!

12. I never wanted a big wedding; I wanted to elope. Your dad talked me into it, though, and I'm glad he did (mostly). 

13. My maiden name is Bertolucci. I love it, and I loved being Cassandra Bertolucci. It was hard becoming "Cassie Tenny", although of course I'm happy about it now!

14. I desperately want to visit Italy and Ireland, two places our ancestors hail from. 

15. The three and a half years I spent getting my college degree in Sydney, Australia were some of the hardest and happiest of my life. Sometimes I miss Australia so much my chest actually hurts. 

16. I feel more confident and beautiful the older I grow. I hope I continue to feel this way as I age. 

17. I'm addicted to caffeine...you probably already knew that since you've seen mama without coffee. 

18. I absolutely love to alphabetize things but even more I like to put things in color order. You might have noticed this from looking at our bookshelves. It drives Daddy cuckoo. 

19. I used to be pretty alright at shooting pool, and I was even in a billiards league for awhile. 

20. I was the lead singer of a Colorado band called Spankin' Whitey for a few years. We played mainly biker bars and motorcycle events. I loved it. Sometimes I miss it, but would never want to sacrifice valuable time with you and Daddy to do it anymore. 

And there you go! I've started...let's see if I can actually go the 30 days and stick it out!